Higher Side Of Low

Indecision

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    swallowing an ocean of absence
    soaking in the tortured admissions and passionate denials
    the absent friends and enemies, the manufactured threats
    the crushing weight of memories are all that I have left
    the absence of feeling - no love, no pity, no hate
    and the absence of anything as what's left of me
    drowns in waves of mindless apathy, submerged in total despair
    dilute the venom of misery
    see the world through the bottom of a glass
    as all sensation separates from a numbing heart
    another dosage of the antidote suffocates emotion before it starts the same depression
    the same fear...constant frustration at the same reflected stares
    ...but cold flesh protects my mind like a clear, smooth, hard bottle-glass skull
    from crushing volumes of nothing

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