At the Doorway of Existence

Through the years I've come across
Many games I've won and lost
Time goes by,
yet I remain
With these tears I can't explain
In a time when all was new
All
these tasks I had to do
No one asked and no one stared
When it happened, no
one cared

In another life
On another day
Searching for the truth
Or
better lies to say
Asking for it all
Waiting for a sign
Was this a
mistake
Or was it by design
Through an open door
Handing me the key
What am
I to do
And what am I to be
Should I turn away
Should I run and hide
Or
should I carry on
And see what lies inside

Through the door I try to
find
All my thoughts I'd left behind
Cast away without regret
Now returns
the lost duet

Running for the door
It's closed and locked away
Confronted
with myself
And thoughts that disobey
What have I become
Is this really
me
There's so much left to do
And so much left to see
How did this
begin
Where did I lose control
This was not my cause
This was not my
goal
Is it worth the cost
To deal with what's inside
Would anybody care
If
I laid down and died

Through the haze I see myself
For the first
time
Without knowing
Is there anyone left
Will I fade away
Or will I keep
on going

Life rushes back
The feeling returns
My memories flood
The pain
still burns
Fighting for a chance
To just turn back the page
Trying to
resist
The urge to disengage

Waking from a trance
Holding back the
screams
Gasping for my breath
Forcing back the dreams
Struggling to hang
on
To all that I hold dear
Forcing myself up
To deal with all my
fear
Crawling to the floor
Cold and full of pain
Taking all my strength
Too
much to sustain
Looking at myself
With someone else's eyes
It finally came
too late
I finally realize