I Wish I Wasn't Awake

I force myself to sleep
It's useless
Hopelessness burns my throat
The thin damp sheets
Feel so heavy

I lost the value of this life
Wishing to never wake again
Into this painful nothingness
Where promises rot
Colors fade and flowers wilt

My body aches
I am so tired of the thoughts and whispers
That pollute my tears
An inescapable emptiness
If only I could persevere
To be more than a dimly lit memory

Lost in stillness
The days are my sighs
This bed my solace
I can't even begin to recall
The number of times
I wish I wasn't awake