Finale: Not For All The Rice In China

Irving Berlin

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    At last! At last!
    Something new in the show at last
    Something new, if you please
    We won't pull the same old wheeze
    We mean that we won't reprise
    The chorus of one of the melodies
    At last! At last!
    Here's a show that'll end at last
    Without a reprise and that's news
    They looked up the Constitution and they couldn't find a word
    That said we had to sing a song that you'd already heard
    The finest legal minds have met and everyone agrees
    That when we reach the finale we don't have to sing a reprise
    At last! At last!
    We've come to the end at last
    It'll all be over soon
    But we don't intend to croon
    The composer's favorite tune
    The one they sang beneath the moon
    Now we'll explain a reprise
    It's that certain song they sing all through the show
    And the one they sing again before you go
    But the judges met and everyone agrees
    That we will have to end without a reprise
    Yes, we will have to end without a reprise

    In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it
    You'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade

    No, you can't do that
    You can't do that
    You can't sing again about your Easter hat

    We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave
    The temp'rature's rising, it isn't surprising
    She certainly can can-can

    No, you can't repeat
    You can't repeat
    You can't sing again about the can-can heat

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    I've got Harlem on my mind
    And I'm longing to be lowdown

    No, you can't do that
    You can't do that
    Because if you do we're gonna leave you flat

    Never mind that introduction for we don't intend to sing
    The chorus of "How's Chances?" as it wouldn't mean a thing
    We'd like to sing a song that wasn't written for the score
    A simple little chorus that they haven't heard before
    A simple little chorus that you haven't heard before:

    [Refrain:]
    Not for all the rice in China
    Not for all the grapes in France
    Would I exchange the pleasure
    That I get with every measure
    When we dance

    Not for all the kilts in Scotland
    Not for all the bulls in Spain
    Would I give up arriving
    At your house although you're driving
    Me insane

    Not for all the onions in Bermuda
    Or the cheeses that are made by the Swiss
    Would I exchange that first kiss
    That you gave me

    Not for all the beans in Boston
    Not for all the steaks in Moore's
    Would I agree to part with
    All the joy you filled my heart with
    When you said, "I'm yours"

    [Alternate line:]
    Not for all the knobs on doors

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