I've Got My Captain Working For Me Now

[1st verse:]
Johnny Jones was a first class private
In the army last year
Now he's back to bus'ness in his father's place
Sunday night I saw him with a smiling face
When I asked why he felt so happy
Johnny chuckled with glee
He winked his eye and made this reply:
"Something wonderful has happened to me"

[Refrain:]
I've got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me
He wanted work so I made him a clerk in my father's factory
And bye and bye I'm gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
I make him open the office ev'ry morning at eight
I come around about four hours late
Ev'rything comes to those who wait
I've got my Captain working for me now

[2nd verse:]
He's not worth what I have to pay him
But I'll never complain
I've agreed to give him fifty dollars per
It's worth twice as much to hear him call me "Sir"
While I sit in my cosy office
He's outside working hard
Out in the hall at my beck and call
With a feather duster standing on guard

[2nd refrain:]
I've got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me
He wanted work so I made him a clerk in my father's factory
And bye and bye I'm gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
When I come into the office he gets up on his feet
Stands at attention and gives me his seat
Who was it said "revenge is sweet"
I've got my Captain working for me now

[Alternate Refrain:]
I've got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me
I gave him work where there's no chance to shirk
He's as busy as a bee
And bye and bye I'm gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
I had a small kitchen built in my Dad's factory
Now I have the Captain there doing K.P.
God has been awfully good to me
I've got my Captain working for me now

[Alternate Lines:]
He stood at attention, called me "Sir"
He said, "I can't get along on twenty-five per"
I gave him a look and said "as you were"

[Some versions substitute 'beanery' for 'factory']