D G D G My mother said that I never shouldA D play with the naughty rude girls in the wood.G D G Their giggling talk I could never understandA D and that's when I fell in love with my right hand and that's whyG I'm a wanker, I'm a wankerC G and it does me good like it bloody well should.G I'm a wanker, I'm a wankerD G and I'm always pullin' my pud!D G D G I was 25 years old before I was kissedA D and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wristG D G It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD!A D It's available at any time and it's absolutely free! and that's whyG I'm a wanker, I'm a wankerC G and it does me good like it bloody well should.G I'm a wanker, I'm a wankerD G and I'm always pullin' my pud!G C G Oh, Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters,C G D thank you for having me and being oh so kind.G C G I've got pains in my arms and my donkey's getting shorter.C G D G My knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind.D G D G I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over SpainA D I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train.D G D G I've used a badger and a melon and a catA D an inflateable Linda Lovelegs and a Davy Crockett hat! and that's whyG I'm a wanker, I'm a wankerC G and it does me good like it bloody well should.G I'm a wanker, I'm a wankerD G and I'm always pullin' my pud!G C G Oh, Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters,C G D thank you for having me and being oh so kind.G C G I've got pains in my arms and my donkey's getting shorter.C G D G My knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind.
Im A Wanker
Ivor Biggun
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