Adolescence

J. Cole

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    I grew up, a fuckin' screw up
    Tie my shoe up, wish they was newer
    Damn, need somethin' newer
    In love with the baddest girl in the city, I wish I knew her
    I wish I won't so shy, I wish I was a bit more fly
    I wish that I, could tell her how I really feel inside
    That I'm the perfect nigga for her, but then maybe that's a lie
    She like a certain type of nigga, and it's clear I'm not that guy
    Ball player, star player, I'm just watchin' from the side
    On the bench, cause my lack of confidence won't let me fly

    I ain't grow up with my father, I ain't thinkin' bout that now
    Fast forward four years or so from now I'll probably cry
    When I realize what I missed, but as of now my eyes are dry
    Cause I'm tryna stay alive,
    In the city where too many niggas die
    Dreamin' quiet tryna dodge a suit and tie
    Who am I? Aye who am I? (yeah)

    Things change, rearrange and so do I
    It ain't always for the better dawg I can't lie
    I get high cause the lows can be so cold
    I might bend a little bit but I don't fold
    One time for my mind and two for yours
    I got food for your thoughts to sooth your soul
    If you see my tears fall just let me be
    Move along, nothing to see

    I always did shit the hard way, my niggas *** slangin' in the hallway
    Burnt cd's and trees like this was broadway, times square
    Kept the dimes there in the locker
    Some reggie miller
    With more brown hairs than chubacca
    Whispers that he got it for the low low
    Sell a, dime for a dub, them white boys ain't know no better
    Besides, what's twenty dollars to a nigga like that?
    He tell his pops he need some lunch and he gon' get it right back
    I peep game

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    Got home snatched my mama keychain, took her whip
    The appeal, too ill to refrain
    I hit the boulevard pull up to my nigga front door
    His mama at home, she still let em' hit the blunt though
    I told her hello and sat with my nigga and laughed
    And talked about how we gon' smash all the bitches in class
    I complimented how I see him out here getting his cash, and just asked
    What a nigga gotta do to get that? Put me on
    He just laughed when he seen I was sure
    17 Years breathing his demeanor said more

    He told me: Nigga you know how you sound right now?
    You won't my mans, I would think that you a clown right now
    Listen, you everything I wanna be that's why I fucks with you
    So how you looking up to me, when I look up to you
    You bout to go get a degree, I'ma be stuck with two choices
    Either graduate to weight or selling number two
    For what? A hundred bucks or two a week?
    Do you think that you would know what to do if you was me?
    I got, four brothers, one mother that don't love us

    If they ain't never want us why the fuck they never wore rubbers?
    I felt ashamed to have ever complained about my lack of gear
    And thought about how far we done came
    From trailer park to a front yard with trees in the sky
    Thank you mama dry your eyes, there ain't no reason to cry
    You made a genius and I, ain't gon' take it for granted
    I ain't gon' settle for lesser, I ain't gon' take what they handed
    Nah I'm gon' take what they owe me and show you that I can fly
    And show ol' girl what she missing
    The illest nigga alive
    Aye who am I?

    Things change, rearrange and so do I (aye who am I?)
    It ain't always for the better dawg I can't lie (aye who am I?)
    I get high cause the lows can be so cold
    I might bend a little bit but I don't fold
    One time for my mind and two for yours
    I got food for your thoughts to sooth your soul
    If you see my tears fall just let me be
    Move along, nothing to see

    I never felt better

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