On Again On Again

E A   E A

[Verse 1]
  E                            
I love a good bum on a woman it 
          A
makes my day
            E                      
To me it is palpable proof of God’s
           A
 existence a Posteriori
G           F#                   
Also I love breasts and arms and 
Bm
ankles, elbows, knees
         E                      
It’s the tongue, the tongue, the 
             E7         A
tongue on a woman that spoils the 
job for me.

[Verse 2]
             E                 
Please understand I respect and 
                    A
admire the frailer sex
      E                            
And I honour them every bit as much
        A
 as the next misogynist
    G                   F#        
But give some women the ghost of a
           Bm
 chance to talk and there upon
        E                     
They go on again, on again, on 
        E7        A               
again, on again, on again, on 
       E A  E A
again on.

[Verse 3]
          E                     
I fell in love with a woman with 
                      A
wonderful thighs and hips
         E                     
And a sensational belly; I just 
                   A
never noticed her lips were always 
moving
G            F#                   
Only when we got to the altar and 
Bm
she had to say “I do”
        E                          
And she folded her arms and 
     E7       A
gathered herself and took in a 
breath and I knew.

[Verse 4]
                    E           
She could have gone on again, on 
                            A  
again, on again till the entire 
        E
congregation passed out
And the vicar passed on, and the 
A
choir boys passed through puberty
G                  F#            
At the reception I gloomily noted
     Bm
 her family’s jubilant mood
      E                 E7        
Their maniacal laughter and their 
A                  E A  E A
ghastly gratitude.

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[Verse 5]
             E                 
She talks to me when I go for a 
                       A
shave or a sleep or a swim
             E                     
She talks to me on a Sunday when I 
           A
go singing hymns, and drinking 
heavily
G                    F#          
When I go mending my chimney pots
       Bm
 she’s down there in the street
       E                      E7  
And at ninety-five on my motorbike
       A
 she’s on the pillion seat

[Verse 6]
          E                        
Wittering on again, on again, on 
             A
and again and again
         E                    
When I’m eating or drinking or 
                        A
reading or thinking or when I’m 
saying my rosary
G                   F#           
She will never stop talking to me
        Bm
 she is one of those women who
     E                             
Will never use three or four words 
       E7        A           
when a couple of thousand will 
             E A  E A
easily do.

[Verse 7]
         E                         
She also talks without stopping to 
                   A
me in our bed of a night
               E              
Throughout the sweetest of our 
            A
intimate delights she never gives 
over
G                       F#       
Not even stopping while we go 
        Bm
hammer and tongs towards the peak
  E                           E7  
Except maybe for a sigh and a 
       A
groan, and one perfunctory shriek

[Verse 8]
              E                    
Then she goes on again, on again, 
                  A
on again, on and I must
            E                    
Assume that she has never noticed 
            A
that she’s just been interrupted
G         F#                    
Totally unruffled she is and as far 
Bm
as I can see
        E                     
I might just as well have been 
           E7        A            
posting a letter or stirring up 
        E A  E A
the tea.

[Verse 9]
         E                       
She will not take a hint not once 
              A
she’s made a start
      E                        
I can yawn or belch or bleed or 
          A
faint or fart, she’ll not drop a 
syllable
G                F#              
I could stand in front of her 
    Bm
grimly sharpening up an axe
        E                      E7 
I could sprinkle her with paraffin
     A
 and ask her for a match

[Verse 10]
              E                    
She’d just go on again, on again, 
             A
on again even more
         E                         
The hind leg of a donkey is peanuts
                  A
 for her; she can bore the balls off
 a buffalo
G                 F#             
“Mother of God” I cried one day 
   Bm
“Oh let your kingdom come
    E                      E7     
And in the meantime Mother could 
   A                         E A  
you strike this bugger dumb?”
E A


[Verse 11]
       E                           
Well believe it or not she appeared
                A
 to me then and there
            E                      
The blessed Virgin herself in 
        A
answer to my prayer, despite the 
vulgarity
G                  F#            
Shimmering softly, dressed in 
      Bm
blue and holding up a hand
  E                  E7     A
I cocked a pious ear as the Mother 
of God began

[Verse 12]
             E                     
But she went on again, on again, on
               A
 again, on and I
             E                     
Will have to state how very much I 
     A
sympathise with the rest of the 
family
G                   F#      
Give some women the ghost of a 
             Bm
chance to talk and thereupon
           E                     
They’ll go on again, on again, on 
        E7        E
again, on again,
E7   E                           
And again, and again, and again, 
E7   E    E7
and again
E            A                   
They will go on again, on again, 
Am                  A            
on again, on again, on again, on 
           A6
again, on.