The Lodger

Am                         
My landlady had three lovely 
  E
daughters.
     E                           
They used to come and make my bed 
      Am
each day
     Am                       
They used to come and clean my 
        E
living quarters,
          E                     
But their mother made quite sure 
             Am
they didn't stay.
          Dm
There was Mary: she seemed chary;
          Am                       
There was Helen: she seemed well 
         E
and truly sceptical
              Am
about my qualities;
          Dm                  
There was Julie: she was truly 
         Am
well-proportioned, but her
                E               
caution brought exhaustion on my 
            Am
aching arteries.

          Am                       
But I was wrong: they weren't at 
    E
all impervious
       E                        Am
To the possibilities of high romance
      Am                      
And I sensed a certain girlish 
 E
nerviness
       E                         
In the way they folded my pyjama 
Am
pants.
          Dm
And I was right, for late one night
             Am
Sweet little Mary, like a fairy,
         E                         
As I lay sleeping, came a-creeping 
      Am
to my side.
        Dm                         
She was mine: it was divine - but 
       Am
we were doomed, for very soon
Continues after the ad
         E                         
Into the room came sister Helen, 
            Am    Am  Am  Am
and she (3/4) cried:

 A           E     E7       A
"Mary, go to bed!" Off Mary went.
      A7                D      E 
"Now, young man," Helen said, 
             A
"for your punishment,
 A                 E         E7  
"We mustn't have a fight, we 
           A
mustn't make a row:
  A           D       E          
"Turn off the light - it's my 
        Am    Am   Am   Am
turn (4/4) now!"

            Am                
Well, after all, I'm young and 
            E
relatively vigorous,
    E                        
And though I still protest my 
     Am
innocence,
   Am                      
By temperament I'm strictly 
      E
un-polygamous,
         E                  
And if I sinned, I sinned in 
        Am
self-defence.
        Dm                   
Nevertheless I must confess I 
          Am
wouldn't miss that
                          E      
sort of bliss And when it ended I 
                  Am
was rendered comatose.
               Dm                  
When, loud and clear, very near, in
    Am
 my ear a loud
                        E          
voice spoke  And I was awoken from 
                     Am    Am   
my post-coital (3/4) doze.
Am   Am


 A            E     E7          A
"Helen, go to bed!" Helen went away.
      A7                D      E 
"Now, young man," Julie said, 
               A
"you will have to pay!
A                        E       
"You've blighted Helen's charms, 
E7              A
filched her purity.
A             D      E          
"Open up your arms - come and 
          Am   Am   Am   Am
filch (4/4) me!"

       Am                      
I was amazed, and really rather 
 E
tired;
              E                    
I thought I'd given all that I 
  Am
could give.
         Am                   E
A little kip was all that I desired,
        E                          
But I'm British, so my upper lip 
  Am
was stiff.
           Dm                  
She was chaotic, idiotic, quite 
   Am
exotic and ecstatic,
    E                      Am
Acrobatic and emphatically fine.
          Dm                    
All to no good, for when I could 
         Am
open my eyes, to my
                     E             
surprise I found her mother looking
            Am   Am   Am   Am
 into (3/4) mine.

 A            E     E7            
"Julie, go to bed!" Julie left the 
 A
scene.
     A              D        E   
"Now listen, Ma," I said, "I know
            A
 the old routine.
      A           D         E    
"I'll do what you like, but I 
      A
shall be vexed
          A                 D      
"And I'll bloody well go on strike 
E            Am      Am
if Grandma's next!"


Listen to the recording on youtube, 
it's a nice simple tune
and fun to play for friends. This is
 my first attempt so any
comments or corrections welcome. 
Cheers, BigMick.