Library Card

Janani K. Jha

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    At the tender age of seven
    I begged my parents to buy me my own library card
    I wanted books that'd keep me up all night
    And they became my kryptonite
    Instead of people, 'cause talking was hard

    I'd bring my books with me to lunch
    So that I didn't have to run
    'Cause the pages built a temporary shield
    From the forces that rejected me
    Those who'd never protected me
    And for a while it all just seemed so real

    Yеah, things were great
    Things wеre fine
    But the magic had to run out sometime

    So here I am at twenty-one
    My life has finally begun
    I can't seem to find my way to the next chapter
    I'll accept these parts of me
    Paper cuts along these jagged sheets
    With no happily ever after now
    (Ever after now)

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    So when the time came up for me to finally fall in love
    I set my expectations way too high
    Turns out I was no protagonist
    Boys weren't a fan of this
    And so I slowly learned that I should hide

    From the reality consuming me
    That I'd never be like the girls that they'd write

    So here I am at twenty-one
    Life has finally begun
    I can't seem to find my way to the next chapter
    I'll accept this part of me
    Phoning in the hope of fantasy
    With no happily ever after now
    (Now)

    Happy endings overrated
    I'm more used to getting hurt
    Forgive me if I'd rather stay in my own little universe
    Happy endings overrated
    I'm more used to getting hurt
    Forgive me if I'd rather stay in my own little universe
    The dreams all gone, the wishes faded
    I knew this could never work
    Forgive me if I'd rather stay in my own little universe
    The dreams all gone, the wishes faded
    I knew this could never work
    Forgive me if I'd rather stay in my own little universe

    So here I am at 21
    Life has finally begun
    Then why do I still feel like such a damn disaster
    I'll accept this part of me
    Poorly adapted literary freak
    With no happily ever after now
    (Now, n-now)
    No ever after now
    (N-now)
    No ever after now
    (N-now)
    I don't even know what the book's about

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