Back When I Was Four

Jeffrey Lewis

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    Back when I was four and I knew the name of every dinosaur
    I knew how to read ROM comic books
    My babysitter said I was really smart
    When the lights went out everything changed
    The radio music made me feel strange
    And I had a real bad dream about a gorilla in the bathroom

    Back when I was 6 I took everything real serious
    And I thought that every song that came on the radio
    Was referring to strange sexual acts
    Because they thought I wouldn't know the facts
    And being small is hard and no one ever tells you how

    And back when I was eight, I'd sit outside on an old milk crate
    And look out at the world from the stoop across the street
    The boomboxes and the hot concrete
    And every Halloween they hung
    A million rubber skeletons across ninth street

    Back when I was twelve or so I swear to god I never felt so low
    Everyone but me was making out and eating cookies
    I had more than my brain could stand
    I threw my life in a garbage can
    I felt so weird
    I had to disappear
    In crying suicide disease

    At fifteen getting stoned felt good and it sent me back to childhood
    And nothing ever mattered to me more than that

    But then sixteen became eclipse
    My brain became apocalypse
    I was lost and found and I've never been the same

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    Back when I was twenty-two I left the best thing that I knew
    and I gave it up for fortune and for fame
    I played like I didn't know how
    I shocked the world
    I wowed the crowd
    But I deserved more than what they gave

    Back when I was twenty-seven still nothing had been forgiven
    Clay turns into rock and rock just sits
    So sitting on a crowded beach
    I'd pretend I was a leach
    And stick to things here and there for a little bit

    Back when I was thirty-one I knew I'd become what I'd become
    Nothing left to reveal
    And nowhere else to turn
    So shocked and withered dumb and bitter
    And in need of a babysitter
    I'd gladly let my hand fall off and burn burn burn

    Back when I turned the big fortyI realized just how much there was to go
    And I started to think that being alone forever
    Wasn't where it was at
    So I pulled my head out of the window
    And I taught myself how to love real fast
    I started talking about painting
    With a woman in the laundromat

    Back when I was fifty and my first wife had just left me
    I felt okay and I sang my daughter
    Funny little songs
    And just when I thought the best was past
    I fell in love for real at last
    And it didn't even matter that it had taken me so long

    Back when I was sixty-three the public rediscovered me
    My comic books and records had all become rare cult-collector items
    Both my parents were deceased
    So they didn't see my records get re-released
    And I got a dog for the first time in my life

    Back when I was seventy-four my dog died and I got two more
    I still felt really good about my daughter
    And also about my girlfriend
    And I'd sing and draw a little bit
    But mostly I'd wake up early and sit
    And hang out with the puppies and wish that I could live forever

    Back when I was eighty-seven my grandson had just turned eleven
    My woman was dead
    And my dogs were getting pretty old
    My body didn't work quite like it should
    But overall things were pretty good
    I was getting decent royalties from the reissued comic books and records

    Back when I was a hundred and six
    My only friend
    Was one goldfish
    Everyone I ever knew was dead and gone
    The goldfish never had a name
    And the neighbors thought I was insane
    And I flushed it down the toilet when I saw it floating upside down

    Back when I was a hundred and eight I would sit outside on an old milk crate
    And look out at the world from the stoop across the street
    The boomboxes and the hot concrete
    And every Halloween they hung
    A million rubber skeletons across 9th street
    Every Halloween they hung
    A million rubber skeletons
    Every Halloween they hung
    A million rubber skeletons
    Every Halloween they hung
    A million rubber skeletons

    Song details

    Composition: Jeffrey Lewis

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