Only Solitaire

G                          
Brain-storming habit-forming 
     D              G
battle-warning weary
winsome actor spewing spineless 
             D
chilling lines
the critics falling over to tell 
D
themselves he's
G                                 
 boring and really not an awful 
      D
lot of fun.
       C                        
Well who the hell can he be when 
       D
he's never had V.D.,
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G                               
and he doesn't even sit on toilet 
   A
seats?

   Court-jesting, never-resting
       D
    he must be very cunning
                 G
to assume an air of dignity
      B       E          A       
and bless us all with his oratory
      B
 prowess,
        E            A        
his lame-brained antics and his 
    E              B
jumping in the air.
        E            A
And every night his act's the same
       E            C         
and so it must be all a game of 
             Am
chess he's playing
``But you're wrong, Steve: you see, 
it's only solitaire.''