Black Cloud

Joe Budden

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    Nothing stays the same forever.....not even me

    Check this...check it

    Something must've changed me, niggas might defame me
    But things that used to taint me, no longer seem to restrain me
    Strangely I'm no longer sad, mad or angry
    Shame-ably it pains me, feeling like it just ain't me
    Mainly what do I tell all the people that thank me
    Namely those who ordain me, aside from can you blame me
    Motivation the game was supplying me, it's no longer providing me
    Jason Williams, something killed whatever was driving me
    Worrying less about the past more about the now
    Less about what I'm going though more about the how
    It's for trial, it's been 30 years being fit for hurdling now
    I'm a different person with nothing to overcome in the midst of burdens
    For certain got 6 figures in my sock drawer
    And honestly this year I expect to make a lot more
    It's hard to live without a budget when life is corrupted
    In a house that's so peaceful that I'm trying to disrupt it
    Scream fuck it not because I have to but because I love it
    Which makes me as fake as the puppets that I speak of disgusted
    Without a paddle up shit's creek
    Dig deep and see it ain't life it's just me
    So be warned as I'm putting on like I'm reformed
    Only so y'all can accept it as being my norm
    Maybe I quit working on me, maybe I given up
    Maybe I been lying to myself, maybe I give a fluckkk!

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    It's enough to make you black out, pull a mac out
    Aim it at the sky while I'm running from the black cloud
    Every day we playin cat and mouse as I watch it hoverin over my glass house
    It's enough to make you spazz out, pull a mac out
    Aim it at the sky while I'm running from a black cloud
    Tired enough for me to pass out, tired of running from the black cloud.

    I say it loud hoping someone can hear me clearly
    Trying to make my girl get it she don't know that it's very scary
    But she's a nympho, she could be barely near me
    But she'll still want the God and I think she Mary Mary
    The prettiest bitches just want to service me
    While niggas pretty as bitches wouldn't get a word from me
    Some of you haven't heard from me, some of you wouldn't mind murking me
    Found that news funny likes its straight from Ron Burgundy
    These niggas ain't never seen dough
    They can dream though I bump into 'em in between shows
    People say I'm emo, what that really mean though
    Is though the song can't breathe I actually make it seem so
    I've lost loved ones because they couldn't deal with me
    Cherish whoever still with me though the merits been killed in me
    Normally it's just me and my lonely mind
    Everyone's storm is different so this forecast is only mine
    Fans recognize my misery uplifted me
    Shifted me to my epitome, guess the curse is a gift to me
    Maybe its serendipity, maybe it's weighing on me physically
    Maybe I should man up and tell God not to solicit me
    Been medicated, meditated
    Sedated, hated
    Character assassinated, all theses years I masqueraded
    Hard headed, if it was on my mind I had to say it
    Tongue on the devil's pitchfork to see how disaster tasted
    Rap is fabricated, rappers are so exaggerated
    Wouldn't be scared of the truth if they weren't castrated
    Grab a mag, spray it, surrounded by people to shoot it before me
    That'll unconditionally love my beautiful ugly
    Now lemme speak to who I cater to
    Would you love me to sing if all my weeks were not favorable
    Promised to maintain being unique but relatable
    All while suffering from a disease that can do away with you
    Poetry on the beat, spoken-word for the masses
    Therapy over pro-tools, every word is on acid
    Consonants are on Kush, every vowel is blunted
    Highly wanted this whole organization privately funded
    This is bigger than the eyeful, this is alert to public
    Had the coppers by our tunnels and our bridges with the rifle
    Sentences meant to stifle, this is a man aching
    This is the dam breaking, contraband in the making
    This is panic enveiling, got potential but I never met it
    He be trying to come over, it seem like God won't let it
    Either he never got my invite or he just dismissed it
    But if all I'm hearing are the Sounds of Blackness, why am I pessimistic?
    You'll never progress if you'll never try
    All I ask, let every word I birth, never die
    My wings spread, but when I'm at the sky
    Weather didn't change like I thought and had me petrified.

    It's enough to make you black out, pull a mac out
    Aim it at the sky while I'm running from a black cloud
    Every day we playin cat and mouse as I watch it hoverin over my glass house
    It's enough to make you spazz out, pull a mac out
    Aim it at the sky while I'm running from a black cloud
    Tired enough for me to pass out, tired of running from the black cloud.

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