Crazy Food

Joe Hawley

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    (! YelwaH eoJ! YelwaH eoJ)
    Are you going to eat that crazy food? (あなたそのゲテモノ食べるって本当なの?)
    May I please have some of it too?
    Oh, I hope that it does not give you indigestion
    This was once a true fantasy of mine

    Shucks, it's fussing bonkers at the farmers’ market
    We drove the gosh darn Jeep and there’s no place to park it
    What the fuss? Cuss!
    Check out that lazy dude with all that crazy food
    Handing ample samples out to non-customers!
    Fussing find that punk if Scheiße ever gets dire
    Gosh darn! He's Superman! Who the heck’s his supplier?
    Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your spaghetti!
    Seriously though, he's packing chow like confetti
    Ready?
    Shucks, uh

    Allspice, amaranth, artichoke, acai
    Banana, barley, basil, bay leaves, bok choi, chai
    Seitan pot pie, marbled rye
    Bedhi'd black-eyed peas, bing cherries
    Chioggia beets, (hold the meats), gooseberries
    Cayenne, chestnut, chia, coconut custard
    Dahlia, dates, saffron, Dijon mustard
    (You're flustered!) durian, curry, kale, cassava
    Clove, eggplant, flax, demitasse, kava
    Garlic, kumquat, lychee, oca root
    Jalapeños, garbanzos, starfruit, snakefruit
    Lavender, lime, karela, kohlrabi
    Juniper, jak, wakame, wasabi
    Papaya, papalo, marigold, mango
    Oregano, sake, lemon, luo han guo
    Kiwi, catnip, Carolina reaper
    Egusi, icaco (why can't this be cheaper?)
    Poppies, asparagus, Queen Anne's carrots
    Broccoli, a gac, and that'll take care of us
    You have more?
    Wherefore dost thou obtain such crazy food, thou crazy fuss?

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    Collard greens, butter beans, vanilla
    Pomegranate, pineapple, sarsaparilla
    Rambutan, dragonfruit, tapioca
    Atemoya, akebia, rose, mocha
    Amanita muscaria, chive, potatoes
    Watercress, sprouts, quinoa, tomatoes
    Parsley, sage, rosemary, wait
    Almost seems like this should be illegal
    (Will these even fit in the vehicle?)
    Watermelon, marijuana, rhubarb
    Tamarind, tarragon, turnip, Swiss chard
    Blueberry, caraway, fennel, cacao
    Boysenberry, cumin, cantaloupe (wow)
    Celery, sesame, yam, anise, zinnia
    Kolas, granolas, marconas, gardenias
    Lentil, cabbage, vital wheat gluten, wiener
    Ghost pepper, muenster, gewürztraminer

    Apple, fig, pear, peach
    Pine, hazel, walnut, beech
    Spelt, millet, teff, taro
    Shallot, ginger, maca, farro
    Yarrow, calendula, kombu, chlorella
    Cilantro, pecan, citron, portobella
    Pumpkin, radish, onion, rice
    Ginkgo, olive, maple, ice
    Thyme, strawberry
    Papaya, cattail, sherry
    Mulberry, plum, mimosa
    Argyreia nervosa
    Cucumbers, maypops, shamrocks
    What’s with the hemlocks?
    Bourbon, apricots, sour
    Truffle, samphire, flower
    Squash, zucchini, macaroni, porcini, vermicelli
    Avocados, pistachios, cinnamon, royal jelly
    Persimmons, hemp hearts, green goddess
    Celastrus paniculatus
    Kombucha and oranges

    Cash only? Uh, nevermind
    当本てっるべ食ノモテゲのそはたなあ

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