Why do I Feel Bad Again?

why do i feel bad again?
i shouldn't be sad or miss a grin.
doubt creeps in and doubt creeps out,
skews the view from my cloud.
troublemaker tempting fate,
questioning the path i take,
showing me the twists and turns,
the forks and points of no return.
i would hold my breath so long
to wash ashore where i belong.
broken roses on the steps,
like promises i never kept.
promises i never made
but could have honored anyway.
tied to years, slave to fears,
i will always hold you dear.
tired, troubled but sincere,
wishing... fuck the rime.
wishing i had a time
to wish you mine.
every day i choose to spend the rest of my life with her
and every day i break the molds of lives and worlds.
i already miss the things that i will never know.
i will never know the things that i've already missed.