Most of the men who've touched me, they should be in jail for it God, it all comes back right now as I am saying it Ever since I was alive, I fucking hated it Now I don't wanna eat, all I taste is bitterness And I don't wanna sleep 'cause all I see are images Sometimes I think if I died, you'd feel bad for what you did I want to throw a party I want to clean my room I want to go outside like all the normal people do I want to wake up early Just as to see the sky But all I do, all I do is stay alive And I still try to explain you like you're a metaphor But there's nothing free by me crying and screaming on the floor I hope I never get as bad as summer 24 I want to get a real job And make my parents proud I want to see my friends for once and not freak the fuck out I want to just feel something Without getting high But all I do, all I do is stay alive And all I do is buy some food that all goes bad And ask my mom why I'm so sad And take my meds and lay in bed And lay in bed and lay in bed And I feel like a fucking kid With nothing hanging off this fridge They all have lies They all have dreams And fuck you, you took that from me I'm still so angry Ever since July And it takes everything in me to stay alive