Goodbye

Please give me strength for another day
I’m tired, I want to go to sleep
And wake up and have her back in my arms and hold her close to me
I know everything is planned and it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be
But damn, life is so hard
I just can’t walk the path you chose for me
Oh Lord, why won’t she come back?
I’m destined to be alone I think
Oh Lord, what did I do wrong?
I’m sorry, so here I’m on my knees
I went to church and broke the bread, and in that wine I would drink
And there I cried, as I prayed for a sign she was not the one for me
And that’s when suddenly I realized I was going way too far
I wound up in the bathroom with a razor down my fucking arm
Came back in the nick of time just mumbling to myself like
Are you willing to die for a girl that barely knows who you are?
I’d rather die than keep fighting
And they can wonder why (It hurts me)
I’d rather take my own life than be alone and alive (I’ve missed you)

I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes (I’m done)
I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m saying my goodbyes

You never looked out for my best interests
You made me fall in love, like how selfish
You knew I’d be stuck after our first kiss
Happiness?
Fuck, you cost me this
You caused me so much pain
Hurt me every time you took that risk
So yes, I cut you
I cut you all the way across the wrist
And I’m caught pretending, and imagining in my head
That I cut so deep that I fucking hit a tendon
You still can’t admit it was your fault
You haven’t learned your lesson
You can’t even look me in the eyes, and damn it, I’m your own reflection
Look me in the eyes, James
Tell me you caused this pain
I want to hear you confess to me; admit it dang
You’re the reason she left us
You’re the reason she left us

I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m saying my goodbyes

Today I barely made it through
They say I have to follow through
How the fuck do people live life?
I have to do this tomorrow too?
I have to get out of bed to do shit I don’t wanna do?
Every single fucking day then act all happy while I do it?
I give up Lord
I give my life to you
Suicide is my last resort, an option I don’t wanna use
Lately I feel suffocated
So restless and irritated
I hate it, I can not take it
I thought there'd be more to life
I can’t be destined for this life
Sitting in the bathroom with doors locked while I hold a knife
So tell me there’s more to life
Tell me I’m not destined for this life
Tell me my story has a happy ending
And my future is mostly bright
Right now, the only light at the end of the tunnel
I’m seeing is the car headlights on the road at night
Day dreaming I’m seeing a truck coming my way
And I take the steering wheel and pull it right

I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m saying my goodbyes
I wouldn’t commit suicide
But why am I okay with dying?
All of these tearms I’m crying
Seems like they’re never drying
So lost, I don’t know who I am anymore
I’m trying to find him
He even goes by a different name: Karacter
He says rapping helps us both in crazy ways he can’t explain
Yes I complain but I’m still praying
Faith is strong and I’m not swaying
God, I just wish things were a little easier, that’s all I’m saying
I just wish you were beside me when it gets hard, to cheer me on
Some days I feel so strong
But by the weekend, I’m weakened
C’mon, I’m speaking It’s tough keeping on
I’m tired. Is it wrong to want to rest?
Is it bad to want to grab the phone?
Now that I feel I’ve done my best, I’ve left a message at the tone
Is it wrong when you feel alone to say God please call me home
I’d rather die than keep fighting
And they can wonder why (It’s so hard)
I’d rather take my own life than be alone and alive (I loved you)

I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes (I give up)
I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m telling her goodbye
I’m saying my goodbyes
I’m saying my goodbyes

Everyday when I get up, I’m stuck
Cause I feel mislead
Today was harder than the night I prayed before I went to bed
Today was harder
Maybe it’s cause I saw her
I thought if I found my true love, I’d make my great escape
I thought if I only found her, she could save me from this blade
But she’s got me on the ledge, pushing me over the edge
My whole life I was going to give her
Now, I’m jumping off this bridge
They’ll find my body in the river
You might be asking if it got better
But if it got better, you wouldn’t be reading this letter
How it started, I don’t remember
And I don’t know why
How did I end the letter?
Simple
I said goodbye