In Hundreds

Part nonsense, part lung test, sickness loved in these hands.
Sought numbers for answers.
In hundreds I said prayers.
Missed some trains.
Lost some friends.
Some forgave in the end.
I don't want to tell you you're the reason why,
but you're just a couple minutes shy of changing things for good.
Maybe I'll put aside this poison like I always knew I should.
Horizon gently pretends to be the end, to be an end.
But what you can't see-and I don't want to give
it away-shows that things look good for the rest of the day.
Now I trust a shiver to bring this body's bad news.
Voices might consider that it's my time,
or let me choose.
Now I don't worry too much about what I really have to loose,
because I'd surely give it all up if I could get some time with you.