Calm Down Too

Kathy Mar

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    The filkers are attacking our beautiful Technese
    Complaining 'cause we talk out software anywhere we please
    They're drowning in their filkzines so they've got a lot of nerve
    I think another music program's just what they deserve

    Calm down, it's only eighths and quarters
    Calm down, it's only lines and staffs
    Calm down and put it in assembly
    It's not my fault I have a voice at which the world just laughs

    They sit around for hours with guitars in every lap
    The other filkers all applaud them even when it's crap
    With rhymes and times and little chimes and dimes for jukebox play
    I'd trade a hundred filkers for a mainframe any day

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    The filking faction's growing they're in consuites through the land
    And some of the fanatic ones will write them on demand
    I'd rather be a renegade and program all I can
    And I don't care if they complain my programs never scan

    I think I'll make a program to write some filks for me
    And sing them in a pretty voice across my new T.V.
    I'll set up in the corner of the filking in consuite
    And if I do it well I'll make all filkers obsolete

    Calm down, it's only words and music
    Calm down, it's only notes and chords
    Give up I'll never learn to sing it
    If you persist I'll send you to your ultimate reward
    I'd rather program any day than sit here being bored
    I'll never have a voice unless it's programmed in and stored, oh no

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