Complex

I'm 21
The edge is razor thin
Between being numb
And feeling everything
Good days only serve as relief again

Now I'm watching as I waste away my days
And then
It’s a cross dissolve
It’s a scene I’ve played before
And the leading role that I thought I’d hold
Doesn’t listen to me anymore

But I'm wearing his boxers
I'm being a good wife
We won’t be together
But maybe the next life

I need him like water
He lives on a landslide
I cry in his bathroom
He turns off the big light

I'm being the cool girl
I'm keeping it so tight
I carry home while
My friends have a good night

I need him like water
He thinks that I'm alright
I'm not feeling human
I think he’s a good guy

But it’s complex
It’s a complex
It’s a complex
I'm a complex

Triangular
I can see them now
Three points at which
I let myself down
I was just a girl
What’s the excuse now?

Too regular
This pattern
I’ve been taking shelter in
Reaching new highs
When I was 19
I wanted to die

Now I just want to kill you
But I don’t want to paint you the victim
And I talk a good game
I’d die for you just the promise you’d listen

But I'm wearing his boxers
I'm being a good wife
We won’t be together
But maybe the next life

I need him like water
He lives on a landslide
I cry in his bathroom
He turns off the big light

I'm being the cool girl
I'm keeping it so tight
I carry home while
My friends have a good night

I need him like water
He thinks that I'm alright
I'm not feeling human
I think he’s a good guy

But it’s complex
It’s a complex
It’s a complex
I'm a complex