Bottle Don't Love Me

Yeah
I don't drink 'cause I'm happy
I drink 'cause I'm tired of remembering
Look
I been pouring my feelings in a glass
Watching demons swim
Every sip another memory
I pretend ain't sinking in

She said, heal yourself
But how when pain's my medicine?
I talk to God when I'm sober
But ignore Him when I'm drunk again

Mirror looking back at me like
Who you tryna be?
I smile for the internet
But cry in privacy

Heartbreak got me numb
I don't even feel the burn
Till the bottle hit the bottom
Then the feelings take their turn

I chase sleep
But insomnia be waiting on me
3 AM thoughts feel like they
Staging a robbery

I lost love, lost trust
Lost pieces of my soul
Now I'm finding temporary peace
At the bottom of a hole

The bottle don't love me
But it listens when I speak
It don't judge my tears
It just weakens me each week

I keep saying, last time
Knowing damn well I'm lying
If healing is a road
I been drunk-driving through my silence

Yeah
I been drowning in myself
Tryna numb the pain
But I'm hurting someone else

The bottle don't love me
But it stays every night
While you walked out my life, yeah

I wear strength like armor
But it's cracking at the seams
They say, man up
Never ask me 'bout my dreams

I loved her like my last breath
She left like it was nothing
Now I'm drinking to forget her
But remembering is stubborn

Mama raised a fighter
But I'm fighting me
Every vice I touch
Slowly turn into an enemy

I don't need another shot
I need therapy
But liquor's cheaper
Than admitting this pain is scaring me

I tried praying it away
But my faith been weak
When your heart breaks loud
Even silence start to speak

If I die from my demons
Don't say you never knew
I was screaming for help
In everything I do

I don't want sympathy
I want peace
I don't want another drink
I want sleep

But every time I close my eyes
I see her leaving again
The bottle don't love me
But it feels like a friend

It pretends that it cares
But it wants me to end
I'm fighting addiction with a broken heart
Tryna rebuild a soul that been torn apart

If you hear this song and you feel the same
Just know you ain't weak, you just feeling the pain
The bottle don't love you
And neither did she
But you still got a chance
Don't end up like me

Yeah
Pain talks
Liquor listens
But healing
Healing takes courage