Counterproductive

i light a fire just to put it out
hoping that this accomplishment will satisfy requirements
and numb this feeling of failure
i fall down just to pick myself up
succesfully i walk away
it's been a productive day
of losing my mind
cause there are times when i don't feel very smart
like my brain is a lot smaller than my heart
the choices that i've made have rarely been the best
just throw me in the corner with the rest
maybe what i've failed to see is
i've been concentrating on me
instead of looking up to your open arms
no, it doesn't seem that far