Oh My Violence

I used to believe I needed to be
Torn in two, reached inside of by you
To be put back together better than myself

Do I need to have a gnaw on the cud of my heart?
When I pine for my own love
And I can't seem to warm up to myself

I get lost in the losing
I get lost, lost, lost, lost
In the television where a sermon
Lurches toward me like a semi swerving

What's worse, the pastor is cursing under his breath
He can't find the passage to back up
The argument he is having with himself

And I see a page in his Bible rip clean out
As I drift off to sleep staring through
The mountains in the motel painting
And my dream leaves itself with me

I am falling from the peak but instead of you, I'm calling out to me

I get lost, lost, lost, lost
In my waking life where I can't wrench me from my mind
Clear enough to wrench you from it too
In an attempt to step back into myself without bringing you

If I could see today in all its glory
I believe I would be humbled
But the past, it has such a charisma, I feel it catching up
And I better run, run, so I don't get lost

In that scene where I cursed you on the street
And you returned it to me with a look so kind
It's impossible to describe beyond this perplexed mention

Now I bow my head in disbelief at how loaded of a lesson
How loaded of a lesson

Now there is no greater challenge than taming my violence
Living with it long enough to rid it
In the lake of pure intention, in the wilderness of forgiveness

I'll show it compassion
I'll pull it to me till we both fall asleep