Fingertips

 F
When I look back
Em                      F
Tracing fingertips over plastic bags
Em              C         Bm    
Thinking: I wish I could 
                 Em
extrapolate some small intention
    Bm                  Em        
Or maybe just get your attention 
     C         D
for a minute or two

F
Will I die
                     Em
Or will I get to that ten-year mark?
       F                      
Where I beat the extinction of 
 Em
telomeres
 Dm                                
And if I do, will you be there with
  E7
 me? Father, sister, brother

 F
Charlie, stop smoking
                      G
Caroline, will you be with me?

Will the baby be alright?
       F           G
Will I have one of mine?
    F
Can I handle it

Even if I do?
               G
It's said that my mind is not fit

Or so they said
   F
To carry a child
C               Am
I guess I'll be fine

              F                  
It wasn't my idea the cocktail of 
                           Dm
things that twist neurons inside
                      G
But without them, I'd die
                               E7
They say there's irony in the music,
 it's a tragedy, I
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    Dm            G
See nothing Greek in it

Give me a mausoleum in Rhode Island 
with dad
                      E7
Grandma, grandpa and Dave
                      F
Who hung himself real high
           Dm       G          
In the National Park sky, it's a 
                           G#°
shame and I'm crying right now
    Am                             
To get to you, save you if I take 
   E7
my life
                              G    
Find your astral body, put it into 
   D#°
my eyes
                       F
Give you two seconds to cry
              G
Take you home, I

I'll give you a blanket
                              G#°  
Your spirit can sit and watch TV by
     Am
 my side
              D  G
'Cause, baby, I
Ran through a time when I felt you 
    E7
were doing it

F
I couldn't handle it, I was in 
Monaco
F
I couldn't hear what they said on 
the telephone
G
I had to sing for the prince in two 
hours
G
Sat in the shower
                E7         Dm
Gave myself two seconds to cry
        Dm           G
It's a shame that we die

When I was fifteen, naked, next-door
                  C
 neighbors did a drive-by
                               F   
Pulled me up by my waist, long 
         C
hair, to the beachside
         F
I wanted to go out like you, swim 
with the fishes
    C
That he caught on Rhode Island 
beaches
                     Em F
But, sometimes, it's just not your 
time

    G
Caroline
What kind of mother was she to say 
             E
I'd end up in institutions?
      F                          
All I wanted to do was kiss Aaron 
   G            C      Am
Greene and sit by the lake
         F                         
Twisting lime into the drinks that 
G
they made
Have a babe at sixteen, the town I 
    E7          F
was born in and died

      Am                G
Aaron ended up dead and not me
What the fuck's wrong in your head 
   C
to send me away?

Never to come back
        G                          
Exotic places and people don't take
              E7         F
 the place of being your child

  Fm                         C
I give myself two seconds to cry
        Am        G
Let it crash over me

Like the waves in the sea
         E7 F
Call me Aphrodite
        G
As they bow down to me

Dm          E            F       
Sunbather, Moon chaser, queen of 
  G
empathy
                   E7          F
I give myself two seconds to breathe
                               G
And go back to being a serene queen
                      E7     F
I just needed two seconds to be me