Joan

Last night I almost crashed my car
Thinking about where we started
It's just something I do from time to time

I trace our steps now and again
I think I loved you even then
That very first night
Or maybe that's just hindsight

What a time it was, those halcyon days
Back when I could feel your gaze
Without that would've could've should've ache

We were bolder, just not bold enough
Now we're older, I'm still so in love
And I think that it will always be this way

Another eight years
And I'll still be right here

Last night I put my records on
I never listened to the songs
Cause every note that played, I saw your face

And I smile and laugh with other girls
I choke out promises of whole worlds
Then you walk in and I can breathe again

I wish I was lying to you when I say
You're the reason no one ever stays
Haven't felt your eyes on me for months
But I see you every day

Sometimes I dare to dream of something bigger
I break down, blame it on the liquor
And all I know is you would keep me sane

Another eight years
And I'll still be right here

And I'm terrified
That one day you're gonna wake up
And you'll realize
I was all you really needed all along

And I've really tried
Tried so hard to kick this habit
But I think I'll die
Knowing how good we could have had it

If I'd just been brave
If I'd said your name
Just once, then never stopped

Maybe you'd have stayed
Maybe I'd be saved
Maybe then I'd feel enough

I can't stand more dreams about you
I'm living half a life without you
Ever since you left your heart with me that night
The night we almost got it right

You came to me in dreams last night
With all my words stacked up from years gone by
And your smile and your touch let me know it was alright

And then I woke up all alone
I watched my hand reach for the phone
I called you without really knowing why