On Hold

I am back here once again
In the mist
In the mist without sight
I thought I fought my way back
Now I'm afraid
I'm afraid to lose hope
Will I ever be the man
In control
In control of his world?
Open wounds that will not heal
Pull me back
Pull me back inside

And I
I was always on the side
Of conformities and pride
Had no shelter from the rain
And I
I was always on the side
So I kept my little lie
To be safe from what may come

To be alone inside of my thoughts
A state that I tend to avoid
But if I can't get to them
I think no one can
Moving forward nonetheless
I'm afraid this is how I've become
How can I sort it out
When I don't even know what I'm looking for?
If I only knew that at least I could deal with it
I don't even have a plan
On how to move forward from here

And I
I was always on the side
Of conformities and pride
Had no shelter from the rain
I
I was always on the side
So I kept my little lie
To be safe from what may come

Oh, my life Is on hold
In this moment
There is nothing here but darkness
My life is on hold
It's on hold
Until I've figured out this maze

I hold my breath and count to ten
Maybe then
It will all go away
Distractions, strategies may work
But only
Only for so long

And I
I was always on the side
Of conformities and pride
Had no shelter from the rain
I
I was always on the side
So I kept my little lie
To be safe from what may come
Come

And I
I was always on the side
Of conformities and pride
Had no shelter from the rain

My life Is on hold
In this moment
There is nothing here but darkness
My life is on hold
It's on hold
Until I've figured out this maze
My life Is on hold
In this moment
There is nothing here but darkness
My life is on hold
It's on hold
It's on hold
Until I've figured out this maze