Banned From Argo

     A                           D       A
When we pulled into Argo Port in need of R & R
    A                          E
The crew set out investigating every joint and bar
   A                              D        A
We had high expectations of their hospitality
    A                                   E               A
But found too late it wasn't geared for spacers such as we

[Chorus]
         D                        A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
   A             E                     D                  B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                                    D               A
Our captain's tastes were simple but his methods were complex
   A                                      E
We found him with five partners each of a different world and sex
    A                                  D             A
The shore police were on the way -- we had no second chance
   A                                        E               A
We beamed him up in the nick of time in the remnants of his pants

[Chorus]
         D                        A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
   A             E                     D                  B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                               D                A
Our engineer would yield to none in putting down the brew
   A                                  E
He outdrank seven space marines and a demolition crew
    A                           D               A
The navigator didn't win but he outdrank almost all
    A                                     E            A
And now they've got a shuttlecraft on the roof of city hall

[Chorus]
         D                        A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
   A             E                     D                  B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                             D                      A
Our proper cool first officer was drugged with something green
    A                             E
And hauled into an alley where he suffered things obscene
   A                              D                  A
He sobered up in sickbay and he's none the worse for wear
  A                                    E            A
Except he somehow taught the bridge computer how to swear

[Chorus]
         D                        A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
   A             E                     D                  B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                                     D            A
The head nurse disappeared a while in the major dope bazaar
   A                             E
Buying an odd green potion guaranteed to cause pon farr
    A                                D              A
She came home with no uniform and an oddly cheerful heart
      A                               E            A
And a painful way of walking with her feet a yard apart

[Chorus]
         D                        A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
   A             E                     D                  B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                      D               A
Our lady of communications won a ship-wide bet
   A                                 E
By getting into the planet's main communications net
    A                                 D        A
Now every time someone calls up on an Argo telescreen
    A                                             E             A
The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen

[Chorus]
         D                        A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
   A             E                     D                  B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                          D               A
Our Doctor loves Humanity; his private life is quiet
    A                               E
The Shore Police arrested him for inciting whores to riot
    A                                 D                 A
We found him in the city jail, locked on and beamed him free-
    A                         E             A
Intact except for hickeys and six kinds of VD

[Chorus]
         D                        A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
   A             E                     D                  B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                                 D                   A
Our Helmsman loves exotic plants; the plants all love him too
   A                                       E
He took some down on leave with him and we wondered what they'd do
         A                             D              A
'Til the planetary governor called and swore upon his life
       A                                     E                A
That a gang of plants entwined his house and then seduced his wife!

[Chorus]
         D                        A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
   A             E                     D                  B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
  A                              D              A
A gang of Klingons landed, and nobody seemed to care
     A                                                       E
They stamped into the nearest bar to announce that they were there
A                                 D               A
Half our crew was busy there, and invited them to play
        A                               E               A
But the Klingons only looked at us, and turned and ran away

[Chorus]
         D                        A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
   A             E                     D                  B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                                   D             A
Our crew is Starfleet's finest, and our record is our pride
    A                                            E
And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide
      A                                 D            A
We're sorry about the wreckage and the riots and the fuss;
   A                     E               A
At least we're sure that planet won't be quick forgetting us!

[Chorus]
         D                        A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
   A             E                     D                  B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

   E      A
...Wonder why?