Banned From Argo

     A                          
When we pulled into Argo Port in 
 D       A
need of R & R
    A                          E
The crew set out investigating every
 joint and bar
   A                              
We had high expectations of their 
D        A
hospitality
    A                              
But found too late it wasn't geared
     E               A
 for spacers such as we

[Chorus]
         D                        
And we're banned from Argo, every 
A
one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a
 little fun
   A             E                
We spent a jolly shore leave there
     D                  B
 for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                              
Our captain's tastes were simple 
      D               A
but his methods were complex
   A                               
We found him with five partners 
       E
each of a different world and sex
    A                              
The shore police were on the way --
    D             A
 we had no second chance
   A                               
We beamed him up in the nick of 
         E               A
time in the remnants of his pants

[Chorus]
         D                        
And we're banned from Argo, every 
A
one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a
 little fun
   A             E                
We spent a jolly shore leave there
     D                  B
 for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                              
Our engineer would yield to none in
 D                A
 putting down the brew
   A                               
He outdrank seven space marines and
   E
 a demolition crew
    A                          
The navigator didn't win but he 
 D               A
outdrank almost all
    A                              
And now they've got a shuttlecraft 
       E            A
on the roof of city hall

[Chorus]
         D                        
And we're banned from Argo, every 
A
one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a
 little fun
   A             E                
We spent a jolly shore leave there
     D                  B
 for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                             
Our proper cool first officer was 
D                      A
drugged with something green
    A                             
And hauled into an alley where he 
E
suffered things obscene
   A                              
He sobered up in sickbay and he's 
D                  A
none the worse for wear
  A                                
Except he somehow taught the bridge
    E            A
 computer how to swear

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[Chorus]
         D                        
And we're banned from Argo, every 
A
one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a
 little fun
   A             E                
We spent a jolly shore leave there
     D                  B
 for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                              
The head nurse disappeared a while 
       D            A
in the major dope bazaar
   A                      
Buying an odd green potion 
       E
guaranteed to cause pon farr
    A                              
She came home with no uniform and 
  D              A
an oddly cheerful heart
      A                          
And a painful way of walking with 
     E            A
her feet a yard apart

[Chorus]
         D                        
And we're banned from Argo, every 
A
one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a
 little fun
   A             E                
We spent a jolly shore leave there
     D                  B
 for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                      D   
Our lady of communications won a 
            A
ship-wide bet
   A                             
By getting into the planet's main 
    E
communications net
    A                              
Now every time someone calls up on 
   D        A
an Argo telescreen
    A                              
The flesh is there, but the clothes
               E             A
 they wear are nowhere to be seen

[Chorus]
         D                        
And we're banned from Argo, every 
A
one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a
 little fun
   A             E                
We spent a jolly shore leave there
     D                  B
 for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                         
Our Doctor loves Humanity; his 
 D               A
private life is quiet
    A                            
The Shore Police arrested him for 
   E
inciting whores to riot
    A                         
We found him in the city jail, 
        D                 A
locked on and beamed him free-
    A                         E   
Intact except for hickeys and six 
          A
kinds of VD

[Chorus]
         D                        
And we're banned from Argo, every 
A
one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a
 little fun
   A             E                
We spent a jolly shore leave there
     D                  B
 for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                            
Our Helmsman loves exotic plants; 
     D                   A
the plants all love him too
   A                               
He took some down on leave with him
        E
 and we wondered what they'd do
         A                         
'Til the planetary governor called 
    D              A
and swore upon his life
       A                           
That a gang of plants entwined his 
          E                A
house and then seduced his wife!

[Chorus]
         D                        
And we're banned from Argo, every 
A
one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a
 little fun
   A             E                
We spent a jolly shore leave there
     D                  B
 for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
  A                           
A gang of Klingons landed, and 
   D              A
nobody seemed to care
     A                             
They stamped into the nearest bar 
                          E
to announce that they were there
A                                 
Half our crew was busy there, and 
D               A
invited them to play
        A                          
But the Klingons only looked at us,
     E               A
 and turned and ran away

[Chorus]
         D                        
And we're banned from Argo, every 
A
one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a
 little fun
   A             E                
We spent a jolly shore leave there
     D                  B
 for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

[Verse]
    A                              
Our crew is Starfleet's finest, and
     D             A
 our record is our pride
    A                              
And when we play we tend to leave a
              E
 trail a mile wide
      A                            
We're sorry about the wreckage and 
     D            A
the riots and the fuss;
   A                     E    
At least we're sure that planet 
           A
won't be quick forgetting us!

[Chorus]
         D                        
And we're banned from Argo, every 
A
one
D                           E
  Banned from Argo just for having a
 little fun
   A             E                
We spent a jolly shore leave there
     D                  B
 for just three days or four
    A            E          A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore

   E      A
...Wonder why?