Trapped in the Calm

Thought I found the end
But the pain came back again (again)
You never really leave (no, you never leave)
So I guess I will just remain

I just want to break free, leave this cage behind
Even if it takes forever or a million nights
Looking for a shelter, but there is no place in sight
I just wanna feel, but I am too numb to fight

It is not lovely, but it is real
Heart made of frost, mind hard as steel
Tearing me slowly, flesh to feel
Hello welcome to my still

Walking out of place
Searching for a safer space (a safer space)
But my mind remains
Lost in the same old maze

But I know someday, I will find a way to leave
Even if the dark will not let me breathe
Trying to pretend, but it is hard to believe
Fear is my shadow, and it will not let me be

It is not lovely, but it is real
Heart made of frost, mind hard as steel
Tearing me slowly, flesh to feel
Hello welcome to my still

Does anybody see me
Will I ever be free
Or am I just fading
Again

It is not lovely, but it is real
Heart made of frost, mind hard as steel
Tearing me slowly, flesh to feel
Hello welcome to my still