thoughts

It’s 3 AM, I’m wide awake
Counting all the hearts I break
Not with words, not with touch
Just with silence, just too much

I replay things I never said
All the echoes in my head
Wishing I could turn it down
But my mind keeps spinning 'round

And I smile when I should cry
I stay when I should say goodbye

These thoughts, they haunt me in the dark
A million voices, one small spark
They tell me I’m not good enough
Then whisper, just be tough
But I’m drowning in the noise
No escape, no clear choice
I’m a prisoner to my thoughts
And they don’t ever stop

Tried to run, tried to hide
Still they crawl back in my mind
Memories like razor lines
Cutting deep, but look so kind

I pretend I’ve made my peace
But the storm will never cease
Behind this calm, behind this skin
Is a war I fight within

And I laugh when I should scream
Losing grip of every dream

These thoughts, they haunt me in the dark
A million voices, one small spark
They tell me I’m not good enough
Then whisper, just be tough
But I’m drowning in the noise
No escape, no clear choice
I’m a prisoner to my thoughts
And they don’t ever stop

Will I ever find the light?
Make it through another night?
Or am I just learning how
To live with the chaos now?

These thoughts, they haunt me in the dark
But maybe I’ll just leave a mark
Turn the pain into a flame
Let them know I’ve got a name
Still drowning, still afraid
But I’m stronger than the blade
I’m not broken, just lost
In my thoughts