What Can I do If I Hate Myself?

I always listen to him put me down and I can't speak
I do everything they ask
But it's never enough
My heart is breaking every time he opens his mouth
And my mind is kind of confused
Feelings are exploding every time I breathe
Will this pain have a stopped

Will I have that light that everyone wants
Or will I always see emptiness?
I'm ready to negotiate my life
I could kill myself and no one will care

I tryna to be what everyone asks me to be
I only wish good for them
I could give back what they give me
But what can I do if I hate myself?
I'm trying my best but I think I can take more
And so much accumulated pain
Will I endure and overcome?
But I think I won't make it through today

I know I'm not the best
Bu I gotta all the days not to kill me
There's so much pain that I keep, I tryna to talk to my friends
But they never listens to me
They're always on the side of those who always bring me down
I tried today to be the best than yesterday but I'll never be the way they want
But all I ask is only the best for them
My friends became my enemy
And I hate my life and how God made me
If I can end myself in a minute

Will I have that light that everyone wants
Or will I always see emptiness?
I'm ready to negotiate my life
I could kill myself and no one will care

I tryna to be what everyone asks me to be
I only wish good for them
I could've give back what they give me
But what can I do if I hate myself?
I'm trying my best but I think I'll bear more
And so much accumulated pain
Will I endure and overcome?
But I think I won't make it through today

I think I'm gonna blow myself to pieces
I think I'm afraid to be happy
You know what I mean is goodbye
I'm alone again (I don't know if I'll survive today)
I'm judged like hell (and I'm not me anymore)
You broke me inside, I feel like I'll lose myself soon

You treat me like I'm trash (yeah-eh-eh)
I fucked myself up because of you
Sorry I'm not as strong as I wish I was
God I accept you as my only savior
I just wish I had a father
But apparently only you are worthy
So I give myself to you
To ease this pain that I'm feeling

I tryna to be what everyone asks me to be
I only wish good for them
I could've give back what they give me
But what can I do if I hate myself?
I'm trying my best but I think I can take more
And so much accumulated pain
Will I hold on and overcome?
But I think I won't make it through today

I think I'm gonna blow myself to pieces
I guess I'm afraid of being happy
You know what I mean is goodbye
I'm alone again (I don't know if I'll survive today)
I'm judged like hell (and I'm not me anymore)
You broke me inside
I feel like I'll lose myself soon

I gotta get out of this hell
I'm almost self-destructing
Now I'm hurting like a dog
I'm gonna move away
I guess I'm afraid of being hurt, I thought it would be less pain