Glad I'm Not Yew

I dont claim to ride a bike
with long black hair to show my might
I dont follow the latest styles
they make me throw up bright green bile
I dont have to shave my head
or walk around and beg for bread
I dont have big ears that stick out
or act like my parents threw me out!

Dont parade around town
or shoot up gloo that gets me down
I dont have lots of holes in my arm
and have'nt used up all my charms,
dont go to clubs 'cause I think its cool,
and hang out with all the fools
so glad. oh so glad I'm not you

I dont sit in a highrise office
and think about how much money I make
I dont have a greasy toupe or walk around with hair thats fake
dont have pearls, or cars or furs
only cowboy boots, no spurs
no silk sheets apon my bed
glad I'm not you, I'd rather be dead!
I have acid wash, but no poodle hair
thats why I shot you that ugly stare
no high heels with jeans and socks
I rather have a bagel, hold the lox
no tan in the middle of winter
I'd rather have a ten foot splinter

[Chorus]