Not Ok

It's not like I chose this
I was not given a choice
In a room full of stories
Mine is just another voice
How does she do it?
Without making any sound?
I cry after hours
And scream when no one is around

Here comes a battle
Here's another uphill climb
So strap on some courage
You should be well prepared this time
Just because I'm still standing
Just because I have survived
Doesn't mean I don't get scared
Or wanna give up every time

'Cause I don't feel like being strong today
I wanna fall apart sometimes
I wanna break
Next time they ask I'll tell the truth and I'll say
That I'm not ok
That I'm not ok
I don't feel like carrying all this weight
Or being broken around those who can't relate
Next time they ask I'll tell the truth and I'll say
That I'm not ok
That I'm not—

After he left us
After everything went dark
She's all that matters
She's my only little spark
It's not like I don't want to
Stay in bed, never leave home
But if I don't do it
Chances are it won't get done

'Cause I don't feel like being strong today
I wanna fall apart sometimes
I wanna break
Next time they ask I'll tell the truth and I'll say
That I'm not ok
That I'm not ok
I don't feel like carrying all this weight
Or being broken around those who can't relate
Next time they ask I'll tell the truth and I'll say
That I'm not ok
That I'm not ok

God gives his toughest
Battles to his strongest ones
Built out of courage
In the image of his only son
And I am a soldier
I can take the whole world on
So watch as I fight this
And give your praise once I have won