Big Johnson

Intro  -  Bb  C


                         Bb C
There was a cajun queen down in 
Louisianne
Gave birth to a boy with an 
 Bb C
over-sized gland
It was a thyroid condition that 
 Bb  C
swelled his neck
                          Bb   C
And none of the girls would give any
 lip
        Bb C
To Big John

  Am
Big John
  F  G
Big John
   C    Bb C
Big Johnson


There was a story about his daddy 
who he never knew
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And each day that passed that 
thyroid grew
He was a freak of nature, but a 
lawyer by trade
And he couldn't understand why the 
girls were afraid
Of Big Johnson


So he took a teaching job on the 
California Coast
At an all girls law school where he 
hoped
He'd find a near-sighted girl for 
his far-feched dreams
Who could overlook the defect in his
 genes
Big Johnson


Big John
Big John
Big Johnson


And then one day on a routine trip
To law library the earth began slip
The lights went out and the shelves 
began to fold
All the girls screamed, but no one 
grabbed ahold of Big Johnson


Then a falling shelf caught on the 
bulge in his neck
And he let out a groan but he stood 
there erect
And as they scrambled beneath his 
legs to make their escape,
40 paralegals came to appreciate Big
 Johnson


Big John
Big John
Big Johnson


The rescue workers agreed that no 
one could survive
Under 20 tons of law books and still
 be alive
Then a girl grabbed the Captain and 
said "You don't understand,
At the bottom of those briefs lies a
 big, big gland...Big Johnson"


Big John
Big John
Big Johnson