Reasons To Be Miserable

Marvin, The Paranoid Android

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    Reasons to be miserable give my brain a pain
    Very little turns me on; marvin is my name
    I'm a robot, it's my lot, a robot full of cares
    I'd feel a little better if they broke me up for spares
    Everything I say or do I find the world condemning
    If I had my time again I'd rather be a lemming

    I'm just a menial robot
    Ah well
    They drive me crazy with their 'marvin close the door'
    Well isn't it enough to make you 'tidy up the floor'?
    You know, it spoils a robot's day
    'Marvin, when you're finished you can put yourself away'
    I'm going to flip my lid
    They treat me like a kid

    Robot naughty, robot bad
    Robot happy, robot sad
    Who's a clever robot lad?
    It would drive a human mad
    Robots are inhuman, robots are inhuman
    Human robots are in, human robots are in
    I get no satisfaction
    I'm bored

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    Can't bear these humans when they make me do their work
    I'd rather be a calculator
    Treat me like a jerk
    That will be the day
    Pat me on the head; I'd rather be a percolator
    It would be no trouble just to bubble life away
    Don't get a holiday
    Or friends to stay

    How can a robot think
    With his elbows in the sink?
    'Marvin, peel a grape'
    Is there no escape?
    'Marvin, dig a hole'
    'Play some rock and roll'
    Yeah, dig it

    I really hate it when they underload my brain
    Washing up the dirty dishes
    Diodes give me pain
    Walking dogs and feeding fishes
    Driving me insane
    Just a metal slave is what a robot is and always will remain

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