A Code That'll Never Be Broken

I'm in a bit of a downswing again
It’s happened before
But did I think that I was feeling better back then?

Every night I wonder am I feeling better
Am I feeling worse than I have ever felt before
Every morning nothing’s changed or
Everything is different once again
But keeping track is such a chore

I'm in a bit of a downswing again
It’s happened before
But didn’t I think I was feeling better back then?

How can I remember where I’ve been?
Am I supposed to know exactly where I'm coming from
And where I'm going
Can’t be sure if I’ve felt better or worse
Than I do right now
My doubt is surely showing

Numbers, charts, and ranking
Take measure while demons are flanking
I’ve got no right to be this scared

Track moods, symptoms, feelings
My still and quiet mind is reeling
In a world that’s crumbling, how well do you fare?

Every night I wonder is the world a little better
Is the world a little worse than it has been before?
Every morning nothing’s changed
Or everything is different once again
But keeping track is such a chore

I always try to look on the bright side
But there're all these shadows in the way
I try to count the happy moments
Try not to let them slip away
They may
But they’ll be back again to play

I'm in a bit of a downswing again
It’s happened before
And it’ll happen some more, and more, but then

A ray of sunshine, something hopeful
Something happy
Something slightly less sour and more sweet
A thing to get me out of bed
To brighten up my head and give me a reason to move my feet

I think I might stop tracking
There’s just no use in cracking
A code that’ll never be broken
It doesn’t exist

Keep making revelations
Forget them overnight
And start again
But still we will persist