Because I Love You

Because I love you I can't kill myself
She say I'll have to wait for someone else
Because I love you I can't kill myself
Say I love the way he
Say I love the way she

Yo, part of me hates you, part of me rates you
Part of me blames myself, but half of me knows it takes two
The other half of me is lost, that's part of me I gave you
Wear my heart on my sleeve, my arteries and my veins too (trust)
We just used to link in parks

I just smash my yard while listening to Linkin Park
Things are dark, heart sinking when I think of Marc
Drinking can't stop the thinking
But can't stop drinking when thinking starts

Sitting on my kitchen top I'm single in my stinking yard
Spliff go out the window while I'm staring at a blinking star
Twinkle like an engagement ring that's still on a widows arm
You think it's hard? Think of sharz, who's thinking of ringing Marc

I really got sectioned, sent to chase farm
Now every time I'm off the radar I ring alarms
It's cool, tell 'em they can bring a pastor
One day I'm looking back on now to sing with laughter (ha ha)

Because I love you I can't kill myself
Say I like the ways of someone else
If I love you I won't kill myself
Instead it's fuck you, go fuck someone else
Say I like the way she

(We're both) going through trauma, emotional torture
You was 19, I was 24 but who was more maturer
Used to pull up in your fiat 500 on the corner
Used to ride around London not giving a fuck who saw us
Go to war for each other I never wanted this for us

Both grew up in a single parent household
We were poor but it was pure love, you made me feel like your love
Before you commit to being loyal
It's worth knowing how you was brought up
Before we got caught up, before we had a daughter

Coulda given her a life our parents couldn't afford to
Partners no matter what come between us
If I make you so unhappy I had no reason to keep ya
And if I really love ya then I reluctantly free ya
Maybe growing apart was always part of the procedure

Couldn't be a leader in a time of need I become weak
I loved you most when we was at our worst, that made it even deeper
The first week, I couldn't eat, I wouldn't sleep
I lay there wide awake and wonder what we coulda been
It's routine, wake up in the morning - cigarettes and tea
Hope you happy now I left you be, a solid member left the team
We lost the fight, no extra time, no referee

No acceptance speech, just lessons I kept with me
I don't need anybody to accept me, except from me
I went from want to need, you went from need to want
To: What you want from me? To finally wanting to leave and be free
Find inner peace, find the piece that runs from ya
Left you after one week, that's how you know I got love for ya

What's meant to be is meant to be, it'll come to ya
And if it doesn't who gives a fuck? Just live it up
For now our memories deleted, and feelings too
You used to make me feel like you would always keep it true
I said I couldn't live if I couldn't be with you
I was being used, wasn't treating you like my equal
That was peak to do

It's no wonder why you're leaving
When the person that you dream of turns out to be a demon too
We was a team of two, I wasn't evil
Just desperate for attention and I needed you
To the point I'm like a fiend for you
The more demeaning you became the deeper that my feelings grew

When we wasn't beefing or screaming about the kinda things that people do
We was cool, wish we coulda seen it through
Only me and you know about the evenings we're eating food
Laughing till we crease, now take it with ease
We was goals, we were greez, we were making 'em believe
Remember when the subway guy put bacon in the cheese?

I'm dead out on my feet, I can't chase you on my knees
I know all you feel is pain, you probably hate as much as me
Shoulda been stronger than you, you were stronger than me
You just fucking made me stronger than I ever coulda been

Cause three months after Marc died you decided to leave
What's mad is when I look at you, I'm reminded by me
If I was unhappy and wanted freedom, I'd take it
If I wanted to make peace, I'd make it
That's some selfish shit but I rate it

We only got ourselves in this Matrix
Yea, the cycle we couldn't break it
It's just a shame we did the same thing
As everyone else who don't plan for kids
We didn't plan for this, shit's cancerous, now the cycle spins
Trust, no time to whinge, I guess this time society wins
Next time I'll try again, until next time goodbye my friend

Because I love you I can't kill myself
Say I I'll have to wait for someone else
Girl I love you I can't kill myself
Say I love the way she
Say I love the way she