Dear Diary

I'm 14 and I always feel nervous
Tell me why is it that everyone is so perfect?
While I feel so worthless
And they look so happy
While lately for me
My mood has been so crappy

And I have come to believe
All of the things that I'm seeing
On magazines and tv
Of every single perfect being
All the girls with perfect bodies
And such an amazing skin

Oh how I would kill to live
The life that they are in
I've trying to lose weight
Over the past, couple weeks

Throwing up after meals
On the rare times that I eat
But that isn't enough
I still need to do much more to get this guy
To notice me people wonder what for

There's so much room in my tummy
For food that isn't funny
I don't wanna be peoples dummy
But either way I feel dumpy
Most of the time I am left here
Just thinking to myself
Oh God is this worth it
Or do I need some help like

I've been used by guys
I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom
And cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody
To tell me that I'm worth it

Your not alone

I'm 23 and just ran across my old diary
I opened it up but I really don't know
What inspired me to do this
But I did and was instantly in tears
To think of how lost I was during those young years

And that guy that I mentioned back when I was 14
He's my fiance now
I guess that I'm living a dream
We got a small house a nice car

And a good life but my arms are
Still scarred from using my own knife
But he accepts me how I am
And he knows about my past

And after all of that he still says
That were gonna last and I love him
I love him I love him with all my heart
I honestly couldn't take it if we ever got pulled apart

If I could say 1 thing to me at age 14
It would be that you'll find a guy
Who will treat you like a queen
It gets better than it is dont worry about your size
And never thing your alone someone
Out there hears your cries saying

I've been used by guys
I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom
And cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth

Your not alone