Delirium Tremens

     D                             
Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to 
     G
the Vodka and the Stag,
           A                     
to the Schmiddick and the Harpic, 
     A7                  D
the bottled draught and keg.
      D                            
As I sat lookin' up the Guinness 
          G
and I could never figure out,
          A                  
how your man stayed up on the 
                 A7            G   
surfboard after 14 pints of stout.
A D


         D                    
    I dreamt a dream the other 
           G
night, I couldn't sleep a wink,
         A                       
    the rats were tryin' to count 
              A7
the sheep and I was off the drink.
                D              
    There were footsteps in the 
               G
parlour and voices on the stairs,
       A                           
    and I was climbin' up the walls
      A7
 and movin' round the chairs.

              D                
    I looked out from under the 
             G
blanket and up at the fireplace,
                   A               
    there was the Pope and John F. 
              A7
Kennedy were starin' in me face.
          D                        
    And Suddenly it dawned at me I 
     G
was getting the old D.T.s,
               A                   
    when the Child o' Prague began 
                          A7
to dance around the mantlepiece.

     D                             
Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to 
     G
the Vodka and the Stag,
           A                     
to the Schmiddick and the Harpic, 
     A7                  D
the bottled draught and keg.
      D                            
As I sat lookin' up the Guinness 
          G
and I could never figure out,
Continúa después del anuncio
          A                  
how your man stayed up on the 
                 A7            G   
surfboard after 14 pints of stout.
A D


              D                    
    Well, I swore upon the Bible 
   G
I'd never touch a drop,
        A                          
    my heart was palpitatin', I was
  A7
 sure 'twas going to stop,
     D                             
    Thinkin' I was dyin' I gave my 
 G
soul to God to keep,
       A                        A7
    a tenner to St. Anthony to help 
me get some sleep.

           D                       
    I fell into an awful nightmare 
   G
- got a dreadful shock,
             A                
    when I dreamt there was no 
                  A7
Duty-free at the airport down in 
Knock.
             D
    And Ian Paisley was sayin' the 
rosary,
                   G
    and Mother Theresa was taking 
the the pill,
                A                  
    and Frank Patterson was out of 
                 A7
his head, he was singin' Spancil 
Hill.

     D                             
Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to 
     G
the Vodka and the Stag,
           A                     
to the Schmiddick and the Harpic, 
     A7                  D
the bottled draught and keg.
      D                            
As I sat lookin' up the Guinness 
          G
and I could never figure out,
          A                  
how your man stayed up on the 
                 A7            G   
surfboard after 14 pints of stout.
A D


        D                       
    I dreamt I was in ecstacy in 
                G
Heaven, and in agony in Hell,
           A                       
    I was bored in Limbo and then I
         A7
 was in Purgatory as well.
                    D
    And there was original sins and 
venial sins,
         G
    and mortal sins by the score,
               A
    so I tied barbed wire around my 
underpants,
                A7
    and I flagellated myself on the 
floor.

             D
    Then I dreamt I was in the 
confessional box,
                  G
    and the auld Bishop said to me,
          A
    'Any impure thoughts, my child?'
               A7
    Sure the f**king barbed wire was
 killin' me !
                  D                
    And then I dreamt I was in the 
                        G
jacuzzi with that auld hoor from No.
 10,
          A                        
    and then I knew I'd never ever,
  A7
 ever drink again.

     D                             
Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to 
     G
the Vodka and the Stag,
           A                     
to the Schmiddick and the Harpic, 
     A7                  D
the bottled draught and keg.
      D                            
As I sat lookin' up the Guinness 
          G
and I could never figure out,
          A                  
how your man stayed up on the 
                 A7            G   
surfboard after 14 pints of stout.
A D