The Valentine's Day Song

Life would be happy and full of big smiles if you would give in and be mine
I'd grant all your wishes I'd wash all you dishes I'd eat rotten fishes
If you would be mine oh

Dawn until dusk I'd be warm and content if you would say yes and be mine
I'd swim 'cross a river I'd tremble and shiver I'd donate my liver
If you would be mine oh

Oh I think you're lovely I think you are keen I will give you a diamond I'll give you my spleen
Chihuahuas are barking and cars they are parking and lovers are falling in love
You're too much to contemplate you make me hyperventilate
And I'm laughing and giggling etc.
I love you so much that it makes me unwell so I feel like I'm going to die

I would do backflips and pull out my hair if you would say yes and be mine
I'd kick my addictions I'd tamper with friction I'd have strange conniptions
If you would be mine oh

I would invite (Ross Perot / Steven Hawking / Martha Stewart) (home) for dinner
My mother she loves me Darth Vader he loves me so why can't you love me?
Oh please just be mine

Licking a steaming hot engine block seemed like a worthless activity 'til you were mine
Now I'm enlightened though others are frightened when you wear galoshes and dance on my spine
If you would be mine (I'd buy you a chicken)
Your love I would pine (My stomach would sicken)
You are very fine (like a cheap ballpoint pen)
Your love is a crime (you can say that again)

If you would be mine!