Now Only

F Em C


[Verse 1]
              F                    
I remember looking around a 
     C
hospital waiting room
Full of people all absorbed in their
        F              C
 own personal catastrophes
All reading books like Being Mortal,
            F              C
 all with a look in their eyes
And I remember still feeling like, 
 G
"No, no one can understand"

"No, my devastation is unique"


[Chorus]
                C
But people get cancer and die
                    G
People get hit by trucks and die
             F
People just living their lives

Get erased for no reason
          Em                     
With the rest of us watching from 
           G
the side

                C
And some people have to survive
                       G
And find a way to feel lucky to 
still be alive
   F
To sleep through the night


[Verse 2]
Em      G             F
I wrote down all the details of how 
my house fell apart
F
How the person I loved got killed by
 a bad disease

Out of nowhere for no reason and me 
living in the blast zone
         Am
With our daughter and etcetera

I made these songs
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        C
And the next thing I knew I was 
standing in the dirt

Under the desert sky at night 
outside Phoenix
     Am
At a music festival that had paid to
 fly me in

To play these death songs to a bunch
 of young people on drugs
C
Standing in the dust next to an 
idling bus

With Skrillex inside and the sound 
of subwoofers in the distance
Am
I had stayed up til three
Am
Talking to Weyes Blood and Father 
John Misty

About songwriting in the backstage 
bungalows
       C
Eating fruit and jumping on the bed 
like lost children

Exploding across the earth in a 
self-indulgent all-consuming
Am
Wreck of ideas that blot out the 
stars

To be still alive felt so absurd


[Chorus]
           C
People get cancer and die
                  G
People get hit by trucks and die
            F
People just living their lives get 
erased for no reason
         Em                     
With the rest of us averting our 
     G
eyes


[Interlude]
C G F


[Bridge]
Em                             
When I was leaning on Skrillex's 
                           C
tour bus waiting for the hotel 
shuttle in the middle of the night
  Am
I barely knew who I was
         Em
I looked up and saw Orion wielding a
 club and a shield

And there you were again:
G
Majestic dead wife
      Am
As my grief becomes calcified, 
frozen in stories

And in these songs I keep singing, 
numbing it down
    G
The unsingable real memories of you

And the feral eruptions of sobbing

      F     Em       C
These waves hit less frequently
     F        Em            C
They thin and then they are gone
        F            Em         C
You are gone and then your echo is 
gone
    F        Em        C
And then the crying is gone
And what is left but this 
C
merchandise?


[Interlude]
F Em C


[Otro]
F               Em              F
This is what my life feels like 
  Em C
now
           F                   Em
Like I got abruptly dropped off by 
the side of the road
       C
In the middle of a long horrible 
ride
     F                    Em      
In a hot van that was too full of 
          C                   F
confident chattering dudes
    G                  C        F 
And the sound of tires receding
Em C

       G                     F Em
Taking in the night air I say
          C
"Now only"