I started on a journey just about a year ago
To a little town called Morrow in the state of Ohio.
I've never been much of a traveller and I really didn't know
That Morrow was the hardest place I'd ever try to go.

So I went down to the station for my ticket and applied
For tips regarding Morrow, not expecting to be guyed.
Said I, "My friend, I'd like to get to Morrow and return
No later than tomorrow for I haven't time to burn."

Said he to me "Now let me see if I have heard you right.
You'd like to go to Morrow and return tomorrow night.
You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back today
for the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way.

"If you had gone to Morrow yesterday now don't you see
You could have gone to Morrow and returned today at three,
For the train today to Morrow if the schedule is right,
Today it gets to Morrow and returns tomorrow night."

Said I "I'd like to go to Morrow, so can I go today
and get to Morrow by tonight if there is no delay?"
Well well I said to him, and I've got no more to say,
"Can you get anywhere tomorrow and get back again today"

Said I "I guess you know it all but kindly let me say
how can I get to Morrow if I leave this town today"
Said he "you cannot go to Morrow anymore today
for the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way".

I was so disappointed, I was mad enough to swear
The train had gone to Morrow and it left me standing there.
The man was right in tellin' me "you are a howling jay,
You cannot go tomorrow." Well I guess in town I'll say.

[bass player:] I don't get it.