Hit it boys
This is Russia’s premier state funded hotel
We’re very proud of our eclectic clientele
Excellence in service since 1932
Don’t believe what you read in the online reviews
It’s the Big House
The perfect getaway
Welcome into the Big House
You’ll never get away
It’s no Hilton or no Hyatt
But you will have a riot
So please enjoy your stay
Here’s the dining room, the menu is minimal
What the cook does to the food is criminal
Pull up a seat frog, grab yourself a stool
May I recommend you try our famous gruel
In the Big House
You’ll never be alone
Life ain’t bad in the Big House
No, froggy, no
Check out after ten
Or eleven years
Make yourself at home
Accommodation is far superior
Than anything else you will find in Siberia
Let me know if there’s anything you need
Everything is free, money back guaranteed
In the Big House, you will not survive
When you arrive in the Big House, run for your life
It’s the Big House
The perfect getaway
Welcome into the Big House
You’ll never get away
For your security
I’ll keep the only key
Now please enjoy your stay