Idolatry

as the earth has seen the sunlight coming and going (clear and dark)
i've seen my idols coming. i've seen my idols going
one more great gain (my happiness)
one more bitter loss (my sadness)
my losses were always, unhappily, greater than my gains
lost in this maze
so many pathways to be followed
what's the best solution for a senseless life?
a terrible thing is a man who dies no accomplishing his goal
but the worst is one who lives without it
i hope to get something to fill this void in me
how can i occupy my mind and relieve my life from suffering and anguish
loneliness and disgust. martydom and guilty ?
what a shame. what a human waste .
don't say that it's lack of own love
senseless life of perception
that's the way of living which i've chosen for me
conjuring the dead and adoring their images
reality and fantasy confound themselves in my mind
gods, angels and saints
they've never told me what to do
creatures of stone
they don't move and tell me nothing either
i would like to materialize all my dreams and adore them
if there are dreams that are worth a life
there are lifes that aren't worth a dream
christ knew that the human race likes to adore the dead
they were needing a so called god
thinking of the immortality he died to
be adored. be contemplated. become an idol
candles, crosses, statues and the bible
they haven't got sense for me any more
i'll break all of those chains
which have hindered me for all of those years
will god comprehend me?
please, tell me
will my idols comprehend me?
help me!!
now, i guess, i'm my own god
nobody tells me what i shall think and do
will i be able to walk with my own legs?
during my existence, i've made nothing for myself
if they punish me..
i'm afraid
if that void grows again
i'll regret and die
"how may i help you, if you don't know what you want ?"