Karkagnor's Song - The Hobbit

Out in the forest, on the grass I lay
Reading a volume I bought on eBay
The pages are dusty, yellow and old
Mystical secrets I'm starting to unfold

Warmth, wisdom, gaudium and bliss
A trickle of glory springs like the dog piss
Shower of gold, non sparkling beverage
The low rate of carbohydrates makes me bold

Aaahhh Aaahhh Aaahhh
Delizia, primizia, malizia
Peperlizia, egizia, immondizia
Aaahhh Aaahhh Aaahhh
Patrizia, sevizia, letizia
Giudizia, Yakuzia, Pomezia

Page after page, line after line
Delicious taste, excrement of a swine
Darky and brown, creamy consistence
Enters my mouth, I oppose no resistance

Ooohhh Ooohhh Ooohhh
Gentile, robusto e fruttato
Prelibato e gustoso al palato
Ooohhh Ooohhh Ooohhh
Caramella, fruittella, Graziella
Mozzarella, Nutella, Scaramella

Blessed be, Karkagnor, with no other term
Who forged yummy dishes, but flavoured like sperm
Blessed be, Karkagnor, the almighty cook
It makes my mouth water, the sight of his book

But now, what I see? Cholesterol, lipids in me!
Monosaccharides, polysaccharides
I'm still longing for thee!
Proteinic support is now starting to flee - this is hell!
Thanks to your meal I've contracted hepatite C

Damned be, Karkagnor, and your poisoned food
Unhealty and toxic but nonetheless good
Damned be, Karkagnor, you unholy chef
Forbidden by both FAO and UNICEF
Damned be, Karkagnor, and your poisoned food!
Cialda croccante al sapor di pupù
Damned be, Karkagnor, you unholy Chef!
In un mondo di malinconia al caffè

And where have you been, Kai Hansel my son?
And where have you been, my Hanson young man?
I've been to Sad Donald, mother make my bed soon
'Cos I'm full in the stomach, rest all the afternoon

And what did you eat there, Kai Hansel my son?
And what did you eat there, Mike Jackson young man?
An Unhappy Meal, mother free toilet soon
'Cos my anus is whistling for a shit like the Moon

And how was the food there, Kai Hansel my son?
And how was the food there, Rich' Benson young man?
Delicious but cruel, mother dig my grave soon
For I'm doomed by Karkagnor's sick plexiglass spoon