Goodbye, Cameron

Eye for an eye, we were kids in the night
Bruised knuckles, cheap lies
Jumping every fence like the world was ours
Sirens in the distance, we just laughed too hard
Drunk on nothing but the way we felt alive
God, we were invincible at nine

Running from ghosts we didn't understand
You held the matches, I held your hand
Mom screaming echoes down the hall again
Two little rebels, no fucking plan
We were chaos dressed in innocence

Brother, I still love you
Even if time cut us in two

So where did you go, Cameron?
We used to bleed the same
Now I say your name to silence
And it don't hit the same
I tried to hate you, tried to forget
But grief don't work like that
You died, and I
I just exist like this

We grew up fast, but not side by side
You were a stranger with my eyes
Different worlds, different friends, different scars
Same last name, but lightyears apart
We stopped talking 'round seventeen
Over something dumb, or so it seemed

Miami nights you never came back from
I heard your voice, then it was gone
I kept your sweater in my drawer
Smelled like smoke and something more
You said: I'll call, but you never did
Guess life don't care about promises

Brother, I still love you
Even if you never knew

So where did you go, Cameron?
We used to share a soul
Now I'm digging through the memories
Just to feel you close
I'd take the fights, the wasted years
The shit we never said
If it meant you weren't
A ghost inside my head

Let's dye our hair green again
Crash the car, pretend
That nothing ever ends
Drink wine we couldn't afford
Laugh till we hit the floor
Be brothers like before

Mom called me yesterday
Her voice was thin, it broke in waves
She said: Have you talked to him?
I didn't know what to say
'Cause how do you call someone
Buried under yesterday?

So goodbye, Cameron
I hope you found your peace
I'm still stuck here breathing
But it don't feel like relief
We were brothers, weren't we?
Or did that fade away?
You died, and I
I just live, day by day