6969

Dm
(Somewhere deep in the slow, eternal
 depths of the heavens drifts a 
planet called simply "Earth"
And among the otherwise unremarkable
 population of this planet are two 
incredible heroes,
destined to save the future from 
itself)

A  Dm  G  C
F/A Bb Cadd4   F/A Bb Cadd4   
(Hey Ninja Brian, I made a 
F/A Bb Cadd4   F/A Bb Cadd4
time machine spaceship. You... wanna
 go on it?) (...) (Yeah okay, cool)


Gm                   F          
Soaring through the galaxy, the 
Csus4           C
stars and sky align
Gm                        F      
The speed of light's for pussies;
             Eb               Ebsus2
 we're going at the speed of Brian
Gm                  F             
Flying towards the sexual peak of 
Csus4        C
history and time
Db  Ab  Cb  Gb  F
(Computer, set a sexy course for the
 sexiest year)

F/A Bb Cadd4
Sixty-nine
F/A Bb Cadd4
Sixty-nine
F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) I've got my space suit
F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) And ninety pounds of 
space lube

Db       Ebm/Db     Ab/Db   
Crossing through into a fuckin' 
     Db                 Ebm/Db  
wormhole beyond the Milky Way
Ab/Db

Eb/Db       Db
That shit's far
     Db      Ebm/Db    Ab/Db     
To a time of Earth so far into 
   Db           Dbsus4        Db
the future where everyone gets laid
Eb/Db       Db
Twice as hard
      D     Em/D        A/D       
We're noble knights of honor on a 
 D                 Em/D     A/D
fierce and sultry butt crusade
E/D     D
Here we are

A Dm     G   C
Open the bay doors and
F/A   Bb       Cadd4
Let's live the dream
         F/A     Bb     Cadd4
Give the world a double team
  F/A        Bb      Cadd4       
I bet it's a billion person orgy 
      F/A   Bb          Cadd4
in an ocean of whipped cream

[G  ILOQUY]

Cm  Gm  F
(Wait, this place isn't sexy at all!
And this robot sign says human touch
 has been outlawed)

Eb         Bb                    
 I can't believe my eyes, but 
    Ab
it's a world without sex
     Cm                  Gm       
Everyone here just wears full 
                   F
length pants and loose fitting 
turtlenecks
        Eb      F          Gm    
Men and women wave to each other 
Db       Eb
from a respectable distance
   Eb       F          Gm     Db
Without the thrill of boning, 
        Eb
what is life?
        Eb           F          
We must speak to the Council of 
Gm      Db
Dick Elders...

[CONFRONTATION]

    Gm       Eb  Bb  F
...tonight  (Excuse me, Dick 
Elders?)[What do you want?]

Gm                   Eb      Bb 
 I know it's most unusual to 
             F
come before you so
        Gm                 Eb     
But the planet Earth sucks balls 
           Bb               F
now that no one's allowed to bone
      Gm                   
We've come from the past to 
      Eb                           
introduce you to ass [Wait! You're 
 Bb                        F
Ninja Sex Party! You will ruin our 
plans!]
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Gm  Eb7  Gm Eb7       Gm  Eb7  
Guards!     Sound the alarms!
Gm  Eb7


Gm  Eb7  Gm  Eb7
If people have sex, they'll break a 
thousand-year spell
Gm  Eb7  Gm  Eb7
There'll be a revolution and they'll
 think for themselves
Gm  Eb7  Gm  Eb7
We control this planet of 
unsatisfied wood
Gm  Eb7  Gm  Eb7
Why does being evil always feel so 
damn good?

A    Dm   G   C
Fuck that bullshit
F/A   Bb      Cadd4
We'll make it right
    F/A       Bb     Cadd4
Get ready for a sexy fight
   F/A        Bb       Cadd4     
My dick's the spark of hope and a
     F/A    Bb     Cadd4
 revolution shall ignite

     Gm          F                 
(Tonight,) We're taking flight, we 
Csus4           C
have to find a girl
Gm                 Eb7     Gm   
[Shoot the fucking lasers! Shoot
             Eb7
 the fucking lasers at 'em!]
Gm               F               
Show her what it means to love, 
   Eb              Ebsus2
and fix this broken world
Gm              Eb7     Gm      
[All the fuckin lasers! All the 
       Eb7
fuckin lasers at 'em!]
Gm                  F            
A new sex king will rule; let the
       Csus4        C
 boner banners be unfurled

[DISCOVERY]

Db  Ab  Cb  Gb  F
(Ninja Brian, look at that girl with
 the sad eyes and the beautiful 
blonde hair. I'm immediately in 
love!)

F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) She spent a life all 
alone
F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) Wanna take her to the 
bone zone
F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) Make her feel the 
pleasure
F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) On a lonely treasure

Cm  Gm  F

Cm          Gm                   
 I can't believe my eyes, but 
        F
you're the girl of my dreams
            Eb                 Bb 
Let's both tear all of our clothes
                Ab
 off like two pants-hating 
wolverines
    Cm                 Gm         
The love we make will save the 
               F
Earth from this oppressive dick 
regime

 Eb   F  Gm        Db
(Whoa-oh-oh) We're having sex now
 Eb   F  Gm  N.C.
(Whoa-oh-oh) To change the world
 Eb   F  Gm      Db
(Whoa-oh-oh) You brought your 
friends now
 Eb   F  Gm  N.C.
(Whoa-oh-oh) Oh shit, they're girls!

[D VOLUTION]

Cm            Gm                  
 I think it's obvious that people 
F
liked our sexy show
        Eb              Bb    
A multi-billion person orgy has 
          Ab
broken out all across the globe
    Cm                Gm          
The human race, much like my junk,
      F
 will now be free to grow (let's 
go!)

 Eb   F  Gm            Db
(Whoa-oh-oh) But what about the 
Elders?
 Eb   F  Gm     N.C.
(Whoa-oh-oh) We tore their world to 
shreds
 Eb   F  Gm           Db
(Whoa-oh-oh) Maybe they'll be cool 
with it
 Eb   F  Gm
(Whoa-oh-oh) (Oh hey, Dick Elders! 
How's it goin'?)

N.C.
[You two are fucking...]

[ESCAPE]

Gm                   Eb           
[...dead!] So much for that, it's 
Bb             F
time to put on pants
         Gm                    Eb 
And run away from their Death Army
          Bb             F
 which is starting to advance
Gm                 Eb7      Gm  
[Shoot the fucking lasers! Way 
            Eb7
more fucking lasers at 'em!]
Gm                     Eb        
 We can't die, we're way too 
                Bb                
young and there are so many girls to
F
 bone
Gm                 Eb7      Gm  
[Shoot the fucking lasers! Way 
            Eb7
more fucking lasers at 'em!]
Gm              Eb               
 But now we're cornered with our 
Bb                 F
backs against the wall!

Gm
[(It's all over, Danny Sexbang! Your
 time has come!
But first, we're gonna take care of 
your ninja friend, here!)]
*slash* *screams*

A  Dm    G  C
Goddamn, Brian
F/A Bb          Cadd4
You killed them all
        F/A Bb      Cadd4
Now the empire will fall
  F/A      Bb      Cadd4         
I have to say in retrospect that 
    F/A      Bb      Cadd4
was easier than I thought! (oh 
yeah!)

[F D WELL]

Gm    F                      
  Our work here's done, the 
Csus4      C
future is secure
       Gm              F      
But my girl and I have one last 
           Eb              Ebsus2
farewell slam just to be sure
    Gm               F            
For underneath those rockin' boobs
        Csus4             C
 lies a heart that is so pure

Db  Ab  Cb  Gb  F
(Take care of this world for me, my 
darling, I will always love you)

F/A Bb Cadd4    F/A Bb Cadd4  
(What is your name by the way?
  F/A Bb Cadd4    F/A Bb Cadd4
 Kristen? Ah, a beautiful name
Until that glorious day when we meet
 again, Katie, farewell!)

            F/A Bb Cadd4
Now let us fly
          F/A    Bb Cadd4
Into the night sky
            F/A   Bb        Cadd4
And we'll raise a glass to ass
            F/A Bb Cadd4
In a final goodbye
F/A Bb Cadd4 F/A Bb Cadd4
To sixty-nine, sixty-nine
F/A Bb Cadd4 F/A Bb Cadd4
Sixty-nine sixty-nine
                        F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) Let us be gone
                          F/A  Bb 
(Sixty-nine) Our quest is 
Cadd4
life-long
                     F/A Bb Cadd4
(Sixty-nine) It's a sexy destiny 
                   F/A Bb Cadd4
so let's rock the fuck on
F/A Bb Cadd4 F/A Bb Cadd4
Sixty-nine, sixty-nine

G/F    F
  Fuck yeah
G/F    F
  Fuck yeah