Am D G
Yo Ninja Brian, you see that high schooler over there getting pushed around?
Am D G
This looks like a job for the Cool Patrol!
[Verse 1]
Am D G
Hey Kid! (Yo!) You're getting picked on in school
Am D G
The other boys! (Huh!)! They say you just ain't cool
Am D G
Well that's bullshit! (Yeah!!) We're gonna teach you the rules
E
Those motherfuckers ain't gonna bother you no more
Am D G
We are the bad boys (Oh!) from the tough side of town
Am D G
We are the Cool Patrol (Woo!) we'll turn your life around
Am D G
Those bullies (AW SHIT) their ass is done for now
E
We're gonna show you how! So fuckin' listen y'all! First…
[Chorus]
G
You put your hands in the air
D
And you jump off the ground
Am C
And then you take that funky butt and you shake it all around
G D
And lightly jog in place and then crank it up to a prance
Em C
This is the cool patrol dance
[Verse 2]
G
Now put your hands in your pockets
D
And take them right back out
Am C
Then spin around in a circle and make an animal sound (moo)
G D
Then glide into the sprinkler like you're gonna water the plants
Em C
This is the cool patrol dance
Am Em F G
Whee!
[Bridge]
Am D G x2
[Verse 2]
Am D G
Motherfuckin' bullies better watch their ass
Am D G
You're sending all them shits a message there's a new king in class
Am D G
When they see you they're gonna freak out and piss their pants
E
THEY AD YOUR BITCHES! THEY AD YOUR BITCHES BECAUSE...
[Chorus]
G
You put your hands in the air
D
And then stick out your rear end
Am C
And then you wiggle it real hard and you hug your closest friend
G D
And then you wildly remove your clothes and tearaway pants
Em C
This is the cool patrol dance
[Verse 3]
G
Now rub the peanut butter on you
D
From your head to your feet
Am C
And cover up your nudity with different cheeses and meats
G D
Then slap a camel because this could be your only chance
Em C
This is the cool patrol dance
[Bridge]
G D Am C
Cool Break!
G D Am C x3
[Chorus]
G
You put your hands in the air
D
And grab a bird from the sky
Am C
And eat it whole so that you may absorb its power of flight
G D
Now you can also dive bomb fish because your vision's enhanced
Em C
This is the cool patrol dance
[Verse 4]
G
You're basically a superhero now
D
So throw some cars
Am C
Then rub your magnum thighs together and set fire to Mars
G D
Now harness all your sexy fury in a victory stance
Em C
This is the cool patrol dance!
Am Em F G Am
Your training is complete! Now go show those fuckers who's boss!
