Why I Cry

                             Gb  
Have been told that you only date
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 nice guys
Well, if that's how you judge a 
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lover's worth
              Db       Gb
Your ass just hit pay dirt
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I'm the most sensitive man on God's
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 green earth

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Here's a rose bouquet
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I also baked you some fresh creme
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 brûlée
                            Gb 
Now mount this stallion and we 
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shall ride
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While also flying kites
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And make love inside a rainbow 
              Ab
through the night

[CHORUS 1]
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Then after sex I'll cry
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Cry
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And also before sex I'll cry
Continues after the ad
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Cry

[BRIDGE]
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(Girl, you know how I feel about 
you. It's like you're a fossil 
sample, and I'm an impatient
paleontologist…'cause I want to date
 you badly)

[VERSE 2]
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Watch a film with me
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I love boring romantic co_me____dies
                            Gb   
Hop in my carriage, this is like 
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your  dream
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Any movie we see
         Gb                        
Can be a drive-in movie if we build
           Ab
 up enough speed

         Gb     Db
Now it's almost dawn
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I can communicate with newborn  
Ab
fawns
Now they'll perform an ancient 
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forest   dance
               Db        Gb
That will melt off your pants
     Gb                          
Take my junk by the hand, this is 
   Ab
romance!

[CHORUS 2]
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And during sex I'll cry____ 
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(thinking about sex makes me)
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Cry__(Even when I use a sextant I)
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Cry______ (They measure angles)
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Cry

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(Sorry, was that too sensitive for 
you? Don't worry about me, I'll be 
fine. I'll just be over here 
thinking
about a duckling riding on the back 
of a puppy. Also the duckling is 
wearing a tiny cowboy hat -- 
slightly
tilted.)