Unwanted Lifestyle

I'm alive, but I'm actually dyin'
Loud, but I'm actually quiet
Hurt, but I'm tryna stay solid
Prayin' as I speed in this car
Shinin', but it's actually dark
My headlights off as I'm drivin'
Some people'd kill for this lifestyle that I don't wanna live no more, mm
I didn't even cry when Lil E died, I'm thinkin' that my tears are gone

Heaven-sent, I speed through the forest and I don't hit a tree, uh
Flyer than a hornet, but I'm real as I can be, yeah
You can stay here or leave, yeah, I ain't talkin' Tylenol
More water than Niagara Falls, sold codeine out of mama house
When they turn the lights off, all a sudden I'm heatin' now
Got rich and now I'm at my dangerous
Window, I be hangin' out, I love how that chopper sound
Sometimes I forget I'm famous
All a sudden she hit me back, think she was dodgin' me
The drop-off would be quicker, but we plan on parkin' these, ayy
Saint Laurent, I'm drippin', bitch, don't even talk to me
Shouldn't have to pay for your love, but I was told nothin' was free
How you wanna be me and I don't wanna be me?
Remember we was hustlin' backwards
Now I need six figures for my album
And I count that money with a passion
Try to hide that struggle with the fashion
And my jewelry rose gold like Jalen
Think I'm at peace long as I'm dyin' faded
My straitjacket Moncler, I'm goin' crazy