Ruiner

It's the young Edgar Allan spitting live from the basement
Do it for the love, give a fuck about the payment
If I'm being honest, I don't know what I'm chasing
Need a space to place my thoughts and the songs the location
I'm fucking sick of writing all these sad songs
But I'm just being real, it's how I feel, word is bond
I just wanna let you know you're not alone
That I know what it's like when you never leave your home
When you can't get out of bed, can't even check your phone
Can't even lift your head, like your bones are made of stone
When everyone you know is asking why you're feeling low
But you can't tell 'em why, 'cause you don't even know

I got radio execs tryna say what's best
I got pressure coming down, got me overly stressed
I got suicidal thoughts floating thru my head
I got people from the past probably hoping I'm dead

Oh no, what's your mama gonna say
When I tell her that I broke your heart?
It's just things aren't the way that they used to be
Oh no, now you're crying on the bathroom floor
And I guess it's the end
Well I lost my mind, then I lost my best friend

Yeah, so what if I did and what if I didn't?
I just wish I wasn't stuck between decisions
I just wish I didn't feel like something's missing
I just need to get outside this mental prison
3am and I'm stuck in a rut
Seems like every time I leave I end up thinking of us
I keep fucking with your head like a lobotomy
I lost it all and you'll always be a part of me

And can you feel the pain when you wake up?
Late again and it's dark out
I don't even know where it came from
Can't escape, got me feeling down
I remember days in the hometown
Things change when you come around
Now they're just memories now
Keep feeling up, then I feel down

Oh no, what's your mama gonna say
When I tell her that I broke your heart?
It's just things aren't the way that they used to be
Oh no, now you're crying on the bathroom floor
And I guess it's the end
Well I lost my mind, then I lost my best friend